All I want for Christmas is Shanghai Fox!

And I'm giving it twice this week!

We're broadcasting TWICE this week! Today and Tomorrow!!! For the Christmas Season, we have a few old classics from the days of Dean Martin & Nat King Cole, as well as some Trans-Siberian Orchestra. We also have some newer stuff, such as Adam Sandler, and a few Christmas Comedy songs as well. Have a listen, and if you bookmarked the broadcast from last time, it's that time to change the bookmarks... new IP this week.

Current Links
For Winamp (and a few others)
http://124.77.227.103:8000/listen.pls

For Windows Media Player
http://124.77.227.103:8000

On Windows Media Player, you'll have to click "File" then "Open URL" and manually cut/paste the WMP link to get it to work.

For Winamp, VLC, Media Player Classic, iTunes... click the link & open in whatever player you want to try.

Leave a comment on www.chinaexcursions.com/shanghaifox if you like what you hear.
Also, check out the forums on ShanghaiExpat.com : http://www.shanghaiexpat.com/index.php?name=MDForum&file=viewtopic&t=66276&start=0
www.terascape.net/shanghaifox.htm will show you what's recently played.

No Name's back in Shanghai

Friday night, No Name is playing over at Yu Yin Tang. No Name is a punk band out of Xi'an that I used to see play over at the 8 1/2 bar (not to be confused with the hooker joint, 8:30 Friend-changing bar, on Dong DaJie.) Several months ago, they played in Shanghai, and I caught them again, only to be sort of chased out by this drunk Scot who was itching to either get laid, or get into a fight, and I had no intention of getting involved.

If you've ever seen my MySpace page, you'll know I don't use it. But when I do, it's usually to correspond with Y Ray, No Name's front man. Check out No Name's MySpace page for some of their music.

You're Welcome, Siyan

http://www.siyansshanghai.com/2007/12/thank-you-eric.html

Crimbo Time

Not only is it Crimbo in the Kingdom of Loathing, but also in the apartment of horrors as well! December 10th was my birthday, and my ever-surprising wife, not really believing too much in the whole birthday thing and claiming that my new computer bag from 2 weeks ago was my birthday gift, surprised me on my birthday with a Christmas tree & a couple Christmas Decorations! All I ever want for my birthday & Christmas is a surprise! This is certainly a good one! Thanks, honey!

From Shanghai Xmas 07

From Shanghai Xmas 07

And my wife says nothing's wrong with the camera...

From Shanghai Xmas 07

You NO buy enough junk! You buy More!

More riots in the land next to the rising sun. This time it seems tourists are getting fed up with having to shop till you drop on organized tours. It's an old scam, though, as back in 2000, when we went to Mexico, we were also deposited at a couple souvenir shops here & there. I can, however, understand how they might feel.

Some Chinese tour guides make extra income through commission given to them by shop keepers who make good sales out of tourists. One guide with a group of 100 or so spend-happy tourists, can rake in an extra few thousand RMB per trip. The greedier the tour guide, most likely, the more you're going to land at a few shops & stalls here & there.

In this case, the tour guide made all the wrong moves.

They were on a day trip from Hong Kong on Tuesday, but after visiting one or two local sites and a number of shops, were told they had not spent enough by their local guides. ~Richard Spencer

That's a hell of a thing to say to your group. The tourists were told they must spend at least 421 RMB, were then dropped off on a beach, and were not allowed back on the coach. According to one of the tourists (as seen on the video), they were threatened by the tour guides that if they DIDN'T spend that much, they would be abandoned there. They rioted. Police showed up, riot police showed up, and it didn't end for the next 5 hours. Anyways... see for yourself. Courtesy of Reuters.

Why Don't We Do It in the Road

The man behind "MyLaowai" and our missus's and I had a great (well I thought so, he wasn't so impressed) hotpot dinner last night. After a lively discussion last night about various topics concerning China & the locals here, as I mentioned in my last post, I figured he's a bit on the extreme side... which I've always known. Me, I have my "Bad China Days" but I don't take it too seriously. I have hope for people yet.

However, is this hope misplaced? From The Shanghaiist.

Click the link until Blogger allows Youtube again. (what the hell, guys?)

Unbelievable. I'm sure you can figure out what this guy is doing. And in front of a sign prompting for, "civilised behavior" before the Beijing 2008 Olympics.

Chinese in the US in the 19th Century

"Kiwi" of Shanghai Expat fame posted this piece on the forums, and I thought I would share here. Written by Mark Twain, the story gives interesting insight into what Chinese life was like back then, some in Virginia, but mostly in California.

Chapter LIV

Roughing It - by Mark Twain

Of course there was a large Chinese population in Virginia--it is the case with every town and city on the Pacific coast. They are a harmless race when white men either let them alone or treat them no worse than dogs; in fact they are almost entirely harmless anyhow, for they seldom think of resenting the vilest insults or the cruelest injuries. They are quiet, peaceable, tractable, free from drunkenness, and they are as industrious as the day is long. A disorderly Chinaman is rare, and a lazy one does not exist. So long as a Chinaman has strength to use his hands he needs no support from anybody; white men often complain of want of work, but a Chinaman offers no such complaint; he always manages to find something to do. He is a great convenience to everybody--even to the worst class of white men, for he bears the most of their sins, suffering fines for their petty thefts, imprisonment for their robberies, and death for their murders. Any white man can swear a Chinaman's life away in the courts, but no Chinaman can testify against a white man. Ours is the "land of the free"--nobody denies that--nobody challenges it. [Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.] As I write, news comes that in broad daylight in San Francisco, some boys have stoned an inoffensive Chinaman to death, and that although a large crowd witnessed the shameful deed, no one interfered.

The story continues on ReadPrint.

Judging by the treatment of the Chinese historically in the US, according to Mark Twain, one can see some of the same treatment in China given to some expats as Americans to the Chinese in the essay. During my recent "Field Trip" it was suggested that all of "us laowais" can earn so much money here, and yet disrespect the local population. While they were lining their pockets with our "fines", they made sure we would understand that the Chinese people were proud. Are all expats like that to Chinese? No. Are all Chinese like that to expats? Of course not. While my views & opinions can get somewhat extreme (I'm not as bad as my laowai friend here is), never confuse my bitterness toward the powers that be with any bitterness toward 90% of the local population. There is still that 10% though that I'd love to toss right into the Huangpu River & watch them sink in that oily, chemically enhanced cesspool.

Field Trip to the PSB office!

I made it to the PSB office yesterday. The PSB are hunting down ALL the foreigners in the Hongquan, WuZhong Road area in an effort to catch those with either illegal passports or those not carrying passports with them (as in my case). This area houses a good number of Koreans and a good number of them were also at the PSB office with us, including local business owners we know.

Our place got fined a couple thousand RMB plus about 1000 RMB each for its 3 foreign employees. This is because the organization is Chinese-owned. Other places, schools, restaurants, bars & such, got sacked with a lot more, some ranging up to 60,000 RMB including sending a few people home packing. These were foreign-owned. Their fines included up to 10,000 RMB per person, for some, deportation (with the option of returning on a new visa) and a nice long speech from the PSB declaring how they were rich, yet should abide by the local laws. Where the rich part comes in, I've no idea. I've heard so far, roughly five Koreans, one American & one Canadian got deported, within the last few days. And this has been going on for about a month now. You do the math.

The real reason, however, is because the local jurisdiction is gearing up for the Spring Festival. For every foreigner & foreign-owned business they bring in & fine, they get a bigger, better New Years Bonus. By the looks of the PSB office we were at, they're making some decent bonuses. About 20 people were waiting, and that's only for the afternoon. I can see eventually other jurisdictions following suit & jumping in to cash in on the rich foreigners. So watch yourself.

As one of my colleagues mentioned, eventually you stop asking how someone on only 4000 RMB/month can afford a BMW.

Another Stop over at the PSB

A couple weeks ago, the Police raided an establishment I happen to be frequenting. That establishment, a school that caters to the Korean Expat crowd. At about 9pm, about 6 PSB officials came in & demanded to see all our passports. We didn't have them (what expat actually does carry their passport around EVERYWHERE they go?). Because of this, we had to go to the PSB office a few days later, where they basically gave us a slap on the wrist.

What went wrong:
We had to sign a piece of paper that neither they nor the school admin could tell us what it said.
They referred to a PSB Guide book written in rather vague English.

Regardless, we had to sign, or face possible deportation. My problem is that this gig is only for a little extra drinking money. I'm an IT consultant. Not a teacher. My visa says so. But they didn't say anything was wrong.

Now, however, they called said establishment again, and demanded to see our passports again. That was Monday. We got our passports back Monday evening. Yesterday, we were told that we will again go talk to the PSB. All I can think is that they somehow didn't bribe enough money to the PSB and now are looking for more.

We'll see what happens I suppose. If I get deported, I leave all my earthly possessions to my lovely wife. ;)

Meet the Beijing Olympic Mascots!

Here we have the 5 mascots of the Beijing Olympics. These five beings will make your stay in Beijing during the Olympics peaceful, harmonious and misinformed well informed.

Beibei, in blue, is busy coordinating the Logistics of organizing the Olympics. Beibei is single-handedly cleaning up the toilets of Beijing & teaching the Beijing Taxi drivers how to correctly answer tourist questions such as, "Is that man peeing on that wall?" and "Hey, wasn't that my hotel?". Wonder if they'll remember the toilets in Qingdao?

Jingjing, armed with lotus leaves on... its head is the first-strike force against the armadas of foreign journalists who will descend upon Beijing in 2008. Should they see anything out of the "ordinary", Jingjing strikes, flying through the air, flinging lotus leaves full of mis-information and false reports, all the while transferring all below-standard toothpaste to Canada & Europe.

Huanhuan is always in touch with the PLA. Huanhuan is ready to lick any capitalist swine who dares to challenge the authority of the Beijing Olympic Mascots. That little ball on his (her?) head? Even though Huanhuan is only one-balled, it's a big ball and it's always tuned into the PLA Anti-disestablishmentary Tank & Da Shan impersonator Division. The Beijing Olympic Mascots have the biggest balls of all! Did you see protesters at the Olympics? Call on Huanhuan to "solve the problem"!

Yingying, also well known on ShanghaiExpat.com is the events coordinator. Rest assured, if you're lost in the Olympic venue, Yingying will direct you to the right place... the sales area. If you're looking for the Gymnastics venue, and you're standing right next to it, be sure that Yingying will guide you through the onslaught of cheap watches, bags & dvd's and within 2 hours, you'll arrive at your point of destination. How convenient!

Nini... well, the token Aztec. This is a secret belonging only to Nini, myself and you, my 2 SinoPenn readers. Her Quetzalcoatl Power helmet allows Nini to fly through the air, spreading the love of all Chinese to the rest of the world! Nini is also the one who rid Ireland of all snakes, hence why she's left only with feathers! After all, snakes are a foreign problem.

There you have it, folks! The Beijing Olympics Mascots! Spreading the love of all Chinese People through lead paint, defense network hacking & cardboard Baozi's to the rest of the world!

The song, Lightning Crashes, as sung by Live, has always been known as the Bad Luck song by myself & Ben, my friend back home. Every time we heard this song randomly, something bad would happen. It didn't work if we specifically played it. But if it happened to come on the radio (in heavy rotation back then), the curse would strike.

For example: We were driving around town & the song played. We got back to our friend Gary's place, where I called my girlfriend. She promptly broke up with me.

Another time, I'd just finished work and had a couple drinks at Snuffy's. (Before you say it, no this was NOT drunk driving, as it was only 2.) The song played on the radio when I was there. As I left, I got in my car and headed down Pennsylvania Avenue. I got as far as the Draft House when I got rear-ended by a guy in a new Bonneville. His car, not a scratch. My car, totalled. Nice Oldsmobile Cutlass, of the 1986 vintage too!

Again, driving around, again, heading... somewhere, the song played. Ben's Cavalier broke down.

Again, the song played, then a phone call came in. Ben's girlfriend dumped him (though this happened a lot with that particular girlfriend).

This all came back to me today as I was listening to music and the song played. I have the mp3 it seems. Came with a collection I downloaded. Since this is technically "random", the curse struck.

My computer crashed out, bringing an hours worth of work with it, and now I'm plagued with intermittent computer problems. It seems the curse is still in effect and is no longer only associated with girls & cars.

Congrats, Al Gore, the former next President of the United States

Dear Eric,

I am deeply honored to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. This award is even more meaningful because I have the honor of sharing it with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change--the world's pre-eminent scientific body devoted to improving our understanding of the climate crisis--a group whose members have worked tirelessly and selflessly for many years. We face a true planetary emergency. The climate crisis is not a political issue, it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity. It is also our greatest opportunity to lift global consciousness to a higher level.

My wife, Tipper, and I will donate 100 percent of the proceeds of the award to the Alliance for Climate Protection, a bipartisan non-profit organization that is devoted to changing public opinion in the U.S. and around the world about the urgency of solving the climate crisis.

Thank you,

Al Gore

First off, no, this isn't from Al Gore to me. This is from Al Gore to his mailing list which I happen to be on. I've been loosely following Al since watching An Inconvenient Truth and have learned a few things about him in the process.

First: Al Gore did not invent the Internet. "REALLY? Gen De Ma?" you say. Yes.

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.

~ Al Gore, interviewed by CNN's Wolf Blitzer on March 9th, 1999. From Snopes.com

Was the wording clumsy? Well, yes and no, but he never said, "I made the internet." What he did was to pass legislation that led to a better internet & more funding for new technologies.

The people who DID invent the Internet, Vint Cerf & Bob Kahn had this to say on September 9th, 2000:

As the two people who designed the basic architecture and the core protocols that make the Internet work, we would like to acknowledge VP Gore's contributions as a Congressman, Senator and as Vice President. No other elected official, to our knowledge, has made a greater contribution over a longer period of time. Last year the Vice President made a straightforward statement on his role. He said: "During my service in the United States Congress I took the initiative in creating the Internet." We don't think, as some people have argued, that Gore intended to claim he "invented" the Internet. Moreover, there is no question in our minds that while serving as Senator, Gore's initiatives had a significant and beneficial effect on the still-evolving Internet. The fact of the matter is that Gore was talking about and promoting the Internet long before most people were listening. We feel it is timely to offer our perspective. As far back as the 1970s Congressman Gore promoted the idea of high speed telecommunications as an engine for both economic growth and the improvement of our educational system. He was the first elected official to grasp the potential of computer communications to have a broader impact than just improving the conduct of science and scholarship. Though easily forgotten, now, at the time this was an unproven and controversial concept.

From Wikipedia (link anonymoused).

Well, there you have it.

What else has Al done noteworthy? How about helping to arrange an airlift for stranded medical patients in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, quite against FEMA's wishes?

Greg Simon, President of FasterCures wrote a lengthy piece detailing an account of how he, Gore and others worked on getting planes for stranded people at Charity Hospital. Here's a part of the story:

I called Steve and told him to delay the planes. I called Al. It was 2 a.m. in Nashville. He was planning to leave for Dallas at 4 a.m. to meet the plane. I told Tipper what was going on. She said, “Greg, you can’t delay it now. It’s too late, the doctors are flying in here to fly with Al to Dallas.” Al got on the phone and said we could not delay. I tried to scare him. What if something went wrong with a patient on the plane? What if the military did not cooperate on the ground and no patients got on the plane? He refused to budge. Col. LaFon could handle the patients and Al would trust that when they landed they would break through the resistance and succeed.

I called Mimi back and said we could not delay but we would agree not to fly to Chicago. I called Steve back to re-start the planes.

Over the next three hours (from 2a.m. to 5 a.m.) I was called by an array of Majors and Lieutenant Commanders telling me to stop. (“I don’t mean to be rude, sir, but you must not do this. You must stop this now.”) Major Webb from GPMRC (don’t ask), Grant Meade from ESF. Major Lindquist from TRANSCOM (at last!) all telling me they would not cooperate and they did not know how we had gotten permission to land. I never mentioned Gore’s name because no one ever asked me who was paying for the flights or how we had come so far.

The full article is here, and I won't spoil the ending for you, but rest assured, it's a good ending.

So does he deserve the Nobel Prize? Why not? He's worked hard to raise awareness for Global Warming, new technologies and the general welfare of the world. He absolutely should be honored for this.



More Gore you say? Well... Okay.

CNN Video on the Draft Gore Movement - CNN Article on Gore's Nobel Prize win - Gore's Comments after the Nobel Win

Shanghai F1 Booze Bus!

As we chanted, "Booze Bus! Booze Bus! Booze Bus!..." The bus pulled out of Sasha's Restaurant at 8:30am sharp! Luckily I got there at about 8:26 or so. An all day beer & racing session it was, and a nightmare for some the next day I'm sure!

Anyways, here are some of the pics:

New Picasa Album (screw flickr. Yahoo doesn't care.)

Just Beer Gallery





And while we're at it... here's a LINK (damn blog won't let me embed from metacafe) from earlier this year from the Shanghai A1 (not the F1) Booze Bus. That, unfortunately is it for this year. Next spring though, the 2008 A1 Booze bus will be departing whenever it does. on April 13th, 2008!

Oh, and Kimi won.

Expats for Olympic Torchbearers

As funny as this whole concept is, a friend of mine is running, so give Siyan your support, and throw a vote her way.

Vote for the 14% Chinese, the Rest, Swedish Chick!


If you want to see what all the hub-bub is about (and trust me, there's not that much of it really) then CLICK HERE LA.

We missed another storm

Typhoon (now Tropical Depression) Krosa came through much closer than Wipha ever did, dumping tons of rain & knocking down the 50 or so scooters parked outside our apartment's main gates. Funny how the press went wild with a no-show Wipha, but hardly said a thing about this one. Fortunately, with the exception of Lewis Hamilton losing the race in a wreck, the Shanghai F1 race went off without a hitch!

Hacked iPhone users, Get Over It!

Why are hacked iPhone users upset that their iphone no longer works? You had a legitimate iPhone with legitimate software. You took your software and hacked it to run a different network. Apple updated their LEGITIMATE software so their LEGITIMATE software would work better, and your phone got "Bricked". Where is the problem here? Don't blame Apple for your fancy new paperweight. Blame the hackers that tried to make a quick buck at Apple's expense.

Typhoon Wipha

Again I reiterate, why are we the last to hear of this stuff?

One dead in Taiwan from Typhoon Wipha, Shanghai evacuates 200,000

Tuesday, September 18, 2007
By ELAINE KURTENBACH, AP

SHANGHAI, China -- China's commercial center of Shanghai was evacuating 200,000 people on Tuesday ahead of the expected arrival of Typhoon Wipha, potentially the most destructive storm to hit the city in a decade.

One worker was killed and another seriously injured Tuesday as the fringe of the typhoon lashed Taiwan, causing scaffolding to collapse at a highway construction site in Taipei, Taiwan's Disaster Relief Center reported.

Schools, offices and the stock market in northern Taiwan were ordered closed as a precaution and flights from Taiwan to Japan, South Korea and a few other Asian countries were canceled, officials said.

On the Chinese mainland, state-run television showed families being evacuated from their fishing boats and other vessels and rescue workers stacking sand bags to prevent flooding.

The typhoon was moving northwest across the sea north of Taiwan at about 25 kilometers per hour (16 mph) and was forecast to make landfall south of Shanghai early Wednesday morning, weather reports said.

The storm, which was whipping up waves up to 10 meters (36 feet) high, was upgraded from a tropical storm on Monday afternoon. With wind gusts of up to 300 kilometers per hour (190 mph), local meteorological officials said it could be the most destructive storm to hit the Shanghai area in years.

"The typhoon is very likely to develop into the worst one in recent years. We are still observing it. It's hard to say at this moment," said a man who answered the phone at the city's meteorological bureau. As is common with Chinese officials, the man identified himself only by his surname, Fu.

Shanghai and the coastal provinces of Zhejiang and Fujian to the south issued typhoon warnings requiring all vessels to return to shore or change course to avoid the storm, the official Xinhua News Agency said.

State-run newspapers reported that some 200,000 people living in coastal or low-lying rural areas of Shanghai were being evacuated as a precaution.

Zhejiang's flood control headquarters also ordered authorities to prepare for evacuations, patrol reservoirs and to be on the lookout for flash floods and landslides, Xinhua said. It said nearly 30,000 fishing boats in the province had taken shelter in port by late Monday and ferry service with outlying islands had been suspended.

The deadliest storm to hit the China coast in recent years was Typhoon Winnie in 1997, which killed 236 people. Typhoon Rananim, with winds of more than 160 kph (100 mph), was the strongest typhoon to hit the Chinese mainland since 1956, killing nearly 200 people.

I spent about 3 hours at the Big Bamboo today watching them Sandbag their doors over a few Carlsberg Beers. News travels slow in the PRC unless you're a celebrity or a dissident.

City issues orange alert for typhoon Wipha
By Lydia Chen 2007-9-18

THE SHANGHAI Meteorological Bureau issued an orange typhoon alert at 2:47pm today with Typhoon Wipha, the most destructive storm in a decade, less than 660 kilometers away from the city and heading our way.

The orange alert is the second highest weather warning in the face of a typhoon, following the highest level of red alert. Yellow alert is the second lowest, followed by blue alert.

Wind speed is predicted to increase to 102 kilometers an hour in urban areas of the city soon, accompanied by up to 50 millimeters of rainfall, the Shanghai Meteorological Bureau warned in the alert.

Winds along the mouth of the Yangtze River and coastal areas are expected to reach up to 117 kph, the bureau added, while winds near the Yangshan Deep Water Port will hit 134kph to 149kph, it added.

At 1pm today, Wipha was about 660 kilometers away from Shanghai.
Packing winds of up to 201 kilometers an hour at its center, it is moving northwest across the East China Sea at a speed of 20 kilometers an hour.

The storm is expected to dump up to 100 millimeters of rain on most areas of Shanghai tomorrow, driven by winds of between 75 and 103 kilometers an hour.

It is forecast to make landfall south of Shanghai late tomorrow afternoon through Hangzhou Bay after it first arrives in the central area of Zhejiang Province early tomorrow morning.

Shanghai education authorities released an urgent notice this afternoon saying that most students across the city will have one day off tomorrow due to the storm.

The city had evacuated 200,000 people at 10am today in some coastal districts and Chongming county ahead of Wipha.

Shanghai today also canceled a parade for the annual Shanghai Travel Festival in Pudong New area and all water trips bound for Zhejiang Province while Donghai Bridge may also close as soon as wind speeds reach 133 kilometer an hour during the storm.

As Reported by the Shanghai Daily.

So... I guess... we're in for a big one. All the more reason to grab the camera & get the hell out of my apartment tomorrow morning bright and early.

According to Weather Underground, we'll get the worst of it around 3pm. I've survived Hurricane Emily, which barely even touched Norfolk VA in '93. We survived, and Rocked like a Hurricane 2 years ago at Senses Wine Lounge. Now it's time for some photo evidence.

But Pray to the Lords of Kobol, PLEASE let my newest Monopoly set survive this one!

The Day Before Wipha

From Shanghai, Chi...

Outside the Big Bamboo bar yesterday afternoon.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Another outside the Big Bamboo.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Around noon on the 29th floor of a building in Xujiahui.

Looks like we're getting some somewhat bad weather

From Shanghai Daily

Wipha to hit Shanghai tomorrow
By Lu Feiran 2007-9-17


THIS year's 13th typhoon Wipha will exert serious influence on the city tomorrow and Wednesday, weather experts said today.

Wipha is expected to bring heavy rain with winds ranging from 50 to 88 kilometers per hour, according to the Shanghai Meteorological Bureau.

Winds near the mouth of the Yangtze River and near the Yangshan Port area will be even stronger, reaching 75 to 117 kilometers per hour.

The wind and rain will also bring down temperatures, with highs dropping to 27 to 28 degrees Celsius, according to the bureau.


I'm wondering if that's why the internet completely sucks today. After all, the only news in China is GOOD news. But if they WANT good news, then I believe it's time for yet another Typhoon Party organized by yours truly!

But... why is it that in ANY other place, people know at least 4 or 5 days in advance, and they only tell us about THIS one a day before in China?

Drugs & Buses

Every day (until next week when I move out of this god-forsaken town), I have to ride a cramped, smelly, nasty bus called "74". It goes from Judytown to West Yan'an Road, though I get off at Beixinjing Subway Station.

Most of the time, it's a relatively normal ride. You get the peasants staring, the people pushing & shoving & staring, and the occasional screaming baby... staring. A couple days ago, however, I saw this at the exit of the bus.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Oh yes, that is INDEED a hypodermic needle! Don't believe me? Here's a close-up.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Why is there a needle on the bus, I ask myself. For what purpose would injecting yourself on a bumpy, crowded bus be made necessary? Was this something so drastic, or life threatening that it couldn't wait until the destination was reached? Or at least some place where one bump wouldn't have someone accidentally injecting the neighboring passenger?

And then... why just disregard the needle at the exit of the bus? Why not throw it into a proper receptacle upon exiting the bus? Oh... wait... This is China. I forgot.

The "needle end" of the syringe had already been busted off by the trampling feet of workers, shoppers, whackshack girls & the likes. Who knows where that part ended up. For safety's sake, hopefully not injected into the heel of a happy bus rider.

Subways & Beer

Our friend here apparently couldn't wait to get home to the family before downing a brew. These were taken at Jing'an temple station, Line 2 in Shanghai.

From Shanghai, Chi...

He got his ticket for the metro, so off he goes. The clerk is completely unphased that he's shirtless & holding a bottle of Suntory Beer, one of Japan's best.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Streets & Chinglish

We're Polite People! Hehe!

From Shanghai, Chi...

China Daily, What are you thinking?

Stolen from ZonaEuropa, this image has to go down in posterity. It shows a screenshot from the China Daily website, which was also published on the Online edition of People's Daily. See the link above for all the details. I see another hanging coming soon in the Harmonious Society!

Edit: just realized the image is SLIGHTLY longer than the page. Just hit view image to see all of it. Too lazy to photoshop it.

Three Days in San Diego

San Diego, California. My first real experience in California. Before this, I'd often joked that California was simply another country, and instead claimed Canada as a state instead. I was certainly wrong about that.



We cut our trip to Warren short so Grace could visit WD-40's home office. Grace & I spent 3 days in beautiful, mild weather, fine restaurants & of course, the beach. Thanks to David at WD-40, who played host during our stay, we managed to see some of the best parts of San Diego in a rather short time. These parts include Del Mar, Jakes Restaurant & an overall view of the city & its suburbs.

The beaches were fantastic, and the sunset was beautiful that first evening. We had dinner at Jake's Bar in Del Mar, during the Horse Races. The restaurant itself was packed, and while I love seafood, I had to pass this time, as I'm not that skilled at eating shelled sea creatures without making a mess.

The 2nd Evening, after Grace finished her meetings with HR & Logistics, we ventured out on our own and walked over to The Bondi. The restaurant, owned by various people in WD-40, features Australian cuisine and beer, including James Boag's Premium on tap. Nicely decorated with good music, this venue is worth the stop.

Our stay was unfortunately short, as the third day took us to San Francisco, then back to Shanghai. Apparently we just missed Comic Con as well as a small earthquake during the trip. All the more reason to go back!

For those in Shanghai, James Boag's is available from Just Beer & various bars. Enjoy! I certainly do!

Facebook & MySpace Peeps

Before life on facebook, I was surrounded by pedophiles on MySpace. Now that I've moved over to facebook, I suddenly find that I really DO have friends! I mean just look!

From Shanghai, Chi...

I mean, really! Before Facebook, I didn't have ANY friends! I'd sit at home, stare at a wall for hours, then occasionally eat, sleep & various other things that I'll spare you the gory details. Now that I have Facebook, just look at all the friends that facebook tells me I have! I NEVER would've known this before!

I never understood MySpace, with all it's glittery links, chicks with webcams & every other hack on the net trying to profit off it or posting some of the worst music I've ever heard. And I doubt I'll ever understand Facebook, with it's numerous "Poke Him/Her" links and high school kids contacting ME, just because I want to the same school 18 years ago. The race for friend-count begins. Eventually, it'll become the same thing. When MySpace finally falls, where do people think all the paedophiles will turn to?

I can just see Chester the Molester scouring Facebook clicking "Poke Her" after "Poke Her" waiting for the responses he can get. On the upside though, I can also see Chris Hanson following right behind, ready to catch a predator.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Ten Days in Warren & Niagara Falls

The Mrs. and I returned from a two week vacation in both my hometown of Warren, PA and her company office in San Diego. As always, it was good to get back, and as always, I gained about 10lbs. But in my defence, those chocolate ice-cream cakes are FANTASTIC!!!

We spend the first 10 days in Warren, where I showed Grace around town. Some of the pics are on her blog. We hit up the usual spots... Kinzua Dam, Washington Park, a few malls here & there, Freddies' Bar & Grill.... While it's all old hack to me, having grown up there, Warren does seem to impress those who aren't from there, and it's especially impressive when you can see a BLUE sky, as opposed to Shanghai's grey-ish sky, and stars at night, as opposed to Shanghai's off-colored moon & 2 random planets.

As usual, I got on www.hellificare.com, another hometown website, and as usual, announced that there was STILL NO sign of Yetis, Bigfoots (bigfeet?) or alien dentists in white trenchcoats ANYWHERE in the Kinzua vicinity, despite some of the more vehement posts on that site about their existance.



A trip to Erie PA brought us to the Quaker Steak & Lube restaurant. Back in College, my ex, Angela & I went there to try the Suicide wings, one step below the "Atomic Wings", the ones you have to sign a waiver for before eating. Talk about HOT!!! This time around, we went a step lower & got the "Hot" wings instead. Perhaps it's living over here too long that gave me a much better tolerance for anything spicy, according to the missus, but neither one of us thought they were even REMOTELY hot. We'll have to try the Suicides again, next time we're back.



Another day took us to Niagara Falls, where Grace got some fantastic shots of the falls. We did attempt to go over to Canada while we were there, but were quickly turned back at the Canadian Customs office. Visa office in Buffalo? Who'd have thought! It's okay though, as we figured as much. The Colt .45 was NOT in Niagara Falls, by the way.

China Blog Voting! YAY!

While I'm on this posting kick today, I'll add one more quickie to the blogosphere. Head on over to Chinalyst and check out the voting for blogs. You won't find Colourwolf there, but there's a few blogs there that could use a Plus Sign clicked; namely, Yellow Wings, My Laowai & Sinocidal (who's already far ahead of the pack!)

"Why no ColourWolf?" you may ask. It's quite simple. I'd rather be playing Civilization 4.


Sid Meier! My hero!

Mac Tonight? No Thanks.

Remember THIS guy?

McDonalds Ad Campaign from 1986 featuring this moon man, "Mac Tonight".

Back in 1986, "Mac Tonight" was the poster "boy" for McDonalds. This campaign lasted maybe a year or so. But here in China, he's been resurrected from the ad campaign graveyard. Last night, while Mrs. Colourwolf was working, the tv was on and a new chinese Mac Tonight commercial was played 4 times within 15 minutes.



This one is the original from '86, and the Chinese one is based on this commercial. Note to advertisers: (and this is something people in the US figured out a LONG time ago) Even if you have the catchiest ad campaign around, repeating it OVER and OVER in such a short time may actually elicit adversity toward the ad! This is the same reason I hate Nao Bai Jin & their dancing grandparents ad. That and they advertise drugs to children. In other words, I'm ALREADY sick of this fucking commercial!

Did they resurrect this in the US too? Has McDonald's run out of ideas? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

3 more days!

LiveEarth Concert, coming to Shanghai

I admit. I like Al Gore, and I think he's making a tremendous effort to make people aware of the growing climate crisis. His movie, "An Inconvenient Truth" is a real eye-opener, and I highly recommend watching it.

His latest project is Live Earth, a 7-country, 24 hour concert to raise awareness of Global Warming. So who's playing at Live Earth in Shanghai? Here's the rundown:
Sarah Brightman
Eason Chan
Winnie Shin
Evonne Hsu
Huang Xiao Ming
Anthony Wong
Joey Yung
12 Girls Band

Ever heard of them? My wife hasn't. Sarah Brightman, and her overplayed Darude mix I suppose, but the rest, pretty typically Chinese (or Hong Kongese as it were.)

So how do you get tickets for Live Earth Shanghai? MSN is hosting the pages for Live Earth. On that page is a link on where to get tickets, which leads to www.ticketpro.biz. From there, click on "China" and that'll lead you to www.ticketpro.cn. And there you go! "Buy Tickets Now!"... which leads you to the page where MSN is hosting the pages for Live Earth. Circular logic at its best I must say.

The information concerning Live Earth Shanghai was pretty much non-existant up until recently, suggesting all the performers who wanted to participate were vying for the US, UK and other closer to home venues. What did we get? Sarah Brightman. Even Japan scored Linkin Park. Funny too, as Linkin Park would be a HUGE success in this country. But Shanghai is not last. There's still Turkey, where, even with only a couple weeks to go, has yet to announce a line-up.

In the US, the tickets through Ticketmaster are $362.95 for a Global Warming Survival Handbook & the best seating at the Meadowlands Arena in New York (where the New York Giants & New York Jets NFL teams play... in case you were wondering). The price here in Shangers?

RMB 1100- nearest seats to stage.
RMB 550- left & right of the stage.
RMB 220- to the left.

Scouring the Intarwebs has netted me nothing in regards to the actual layout of the concert area, so if anyone could push & shove me in the right direction, it'd be appreciated. Also, if ANYONE has actually seen this advertised anywhere in Shanghai, let me know, because I've seen it NO WHERE!

Sorry Shanghaiist. No Robin Gibb or Cui Jian.

Flopsy Isn't Alone in his Plight

I work at this place that claims to be a center of learning for the youth of Shanghai (and Anhui & Xinjiang too, apparently) and in general, it's a decent place. It's not the best in Shanghai, but probably not the worst either. They generally treat people well, pay well & provide a contract before your last day of work (which is always helpful.) At least I thought that until a few weeks ago when I saw this:



Looks like a typical building. Dance classes on the top floor. Some classrooms below. Right?

But wait! What's that?

From Shanghai, Chi...

Can it be? Do my keen bloodshot eyes spy a worker of the harmonious society halfway up that monolithic cliff of urban concrete? Is there life here after all?

From Shanghai, Chi...

Yes, there! My eyes deceiveth me not! A worker of the harmonious society, and of the blue collared nature if I’m not very much mistaken! Well I'll be damned, up in the sky, fixing the school air-con, no straps, no nothing to save himself from a plummet-ty death. (The white thing around him is debatable... see below).

From Shanghai, Chi...

One Week Later...

From Shanghai, Chi...

Not the same worker, nor aircon, but someone came to the rescue! Kind of hard to see, but this time it's there in white. A harness held by another worker, possibly from the week before. Do ya think he may be a bit bitter for not getting the same courtesy a week prior?

Two Weeks Later...

From Shanghai, Chi...

Same Air-con, possibly the same worker, again with help. Workers' rights are looking up in this side of town. There may be hope yet!

I'll look for the red stains next week on the basketball courts below to see the end results.

Some of this post was gratuitiously ripped off from Sinocidal. 88|

Shanghaiist Likes Me! (I think)

Seems I've been mentioned on Shanghaiist for that Tongren Road incident. The comments, while most are pretty fair, some I see have people living in this city with their proverbial rose-tinted glasses. I agree, Shanghai is a VERY safe city. This was the ONLY time I've ever been involved in an incident like this. But I'm not the only one.

From China Daily forums 2 years ago
Most recent from Shanghai Expat
Mine from Shanghai Expat

And we're the ones who actually talked about it. There are a couple more cases that I know of where the parties involved won't talk about it.

So was I fair? Was I wrong? Let's see:
(from the comments on Shanghaiist)

Are you sure the guys getting the shit beat out of them (not the ATM guy) didn't have it coming? People who end up in that situation have *usually* done something provocative.
As for me, I jumped in AFTER someone else started getting the shit beat out of him. And as I've said before, I've no clue what he did, nor a clue who he was. All I know is it looked VERY bad.

Tongren lu close to yanan lu is a hole. If you are going to pay for the drinks, you might as well go somewhere classy because drink prices are pretty standard across the city. Really I dont have a lot of pity for people who go there, and no love for the bars tolerating the bums right outside their doors.agree, hence why I frequent places like British Bulldog, Castle Oktober, Big Bamboo and... Malones American Cafe, which just happens to be on Tongren Road & my particular destination that night.

"Shanghai is still a VERY safe place - just don't go to seedy bars late and night. And if you do, just keep your wits about you."

That advice is pretty much applicable inside and outside. Any word if these guys were in the presence of local women? That seems to be rubbing local men the wrong way lately.

beware the boxer rebellion part deux

My wife is Chinese. Should I be afraid to go out with her in public? Trust me, out here in Judytown, we overhear assorted comments from the locals (it's kind of countryside here) but they've never pulled out a chain to make their views heard.

There was an incident in Xi'an where a couple people thought that not only could they steal the Chinese girl from the Laowai, but also take the Laowai girl home. They underestimated Karen's willingness to go home with a drunk Chinese, and, considering how drunk AND rude they were (they joined our table and proceeded to insult all of us while trying to buy Karen & Grace drinks) they also failed to realize that considering how big I am, that my two other friends were even bigger than me. Outside, the three of us got them into a taxi when they came out after us. One jumped into the cab after the girls were in, and tried to tell the taxi driver to go, while punching Karen in the face. That didn't go so well. Never fuck with a hardcore New Yorker. He didn't last long. Then they went after us, failing miserably. We all took a couple shots, but we didn't take a single swing at them. We didn't have to. It'd be like beating up a 10 year old.

Baro... you could not have said it any better. To give money to these "beggers" only encourages more child abuse for the unfortunate kids.

Absolutely. Couldn't agree more.

Sorry but every time I have seen it in person it's been a foreigner who starts shoving, or gets aggressive under the delusion that the little Chinese guy is going to fight them 1-on-1. This is China, no Marques of Queensbury here. My wife and I rarely go out to expat bars anymore because of all the expats who think they are hot shit in China and can grab any girls ass they want- and usually Chinese turn a blind eye to it and let them. So if the guys were really the subject of "random" violence they have my sympathy (we all know those crazy Chinese with their Happy Slapping and..oh wait...) but I've seen a LOT of fellow foreigners who left their manners back west and are just whining about someone getting beat down for behavior that would have gotten them shot back home.

Milo also wrote the same thing on "ColourWolf" on the original post here. Well you know... I grab ALL SORTS of asses in China! And as a matter of fact, I AM hot shit! Oh wait... shouldn't say that, huh? Whining about a beatdown will not be present on my post. Avoiding expat bars because of "hot shit" expats, again, that depends on where you go. Many guys have no problem saying if some girl is a hottie, if they're saying it to the blokes they're with. I certainly don't. But the guys I know also don't go grab-asstic on them either.

And the best one...

So this article is about the fact that some people have gone out late at night to bar areas and entirely allegedly got into *some sort of fracas* in which
maybe
maybe
maybe

this and that happened.

As if ANYONE who goes to fucking [sic] tong ren road doesn't go there BECAUSE OF THE PROSTITUTES !!!
And then it's usually more BS like "china is changeing"[sic], "expats had better watch out"
rubbish.

The moral of this story, kiddies, is this: ol' skyline will continue to live, work & play in Shanghai, with no fear of what will happen if I stray into the wrong side of town. But if something does happen to someone, don't just jump up onto your moral high-horse & say that we deserved it because we were there "Because of the Prostitutes." You're assuming, Trev. And you obviously can't read. You know what they say if you "ass u me" (except for the "me" part). Enjoy your moral high-horse. But don't fall off.

Looking for a Secretary? Look No Further!

Looking for a secretary? Look no further!

I am 23 female, have good experience of dealing with foreign customers because I run trade business for the last two years,during which I export a lot of Chinese products to USA, Deutschland und Australia. I am quite familiar with the products source(factories), shipping companies and the custom clearance skills.

For some reasons I quit and now I wanna work as a trader, interpreter,. tourist guid, maybe we could cooperate to establish business in some potential area here.

Don’t call me for sexual service cause I aint booty call girl, not prostitute or money girl!!!!So pls respect me!!! No sex!!! Only business!!!

Contact me

Is the whole "Shanghai Girl/Gold digger" image going too far where someone looking for a decent job has to explicitly say, "NO SEX"?

Well... probably not. Perhaps this girl had a bad experience, but I'm pretty sure that ending isn't needed when posting your credentials online.

Every Advertisement has a Happy Ending

From Shanghai, Chi...

Only in Shanghai would a mainstream newspaper post advertising for a "happy ending." For those who don't know, A massage in China with a "happy ending" means they're basically giving you a hand job. This was posted in the Shanghai Daily ads section under "Health". And Yes, I'm absolutely sending this to Jay Leno!

And if you DO call that number, tell them Skyline5k sent you!:>>

UFO's Over Shanghai

From Shanghai, Chi...

THIS was spotted over the Castle Oktober bar yesterday evening! A UFO? A spacecraft from OUTER SPACE? A flying... (well, you know). Or maybe the Good Year Blimp?

Sometimes people in Shanghai simply confuse me. Take these guys for instance.

From Shanghai, Chi...

From Shanghai, Chi...

For whatever reason, they found it necessary to start wrestling on the metro last night. To the right, off camera was a girl who eventually had to get up to get out of their way. As my old friend Jack Exley would say, "Un-fucking-believable."

Eric D's Shanghai Efficiency Tips: Escalators

As Shanghai pushes to be farther & farther in the forefront of Chinese & Asian society, we should take a look at what we, both Chinese & expats can do to further see Shanghai into the future of Asian commerce & industry. Let's look at the Metro escalator facilities. See exhibit A below.

Exhibit A

From Shanghai, Chi...

Here we have a pic of a typical escalator (gratuitously ripped from flickr.com). Note the girl patiently waiting for her business partner at the bottom. "Where is he?" she wonders. "Surely he should be down the escalator by now! What's the hold-up?"

The hold up is simple. Upon exiting the train, commuters en masse & en volume rush to the escalator to head out of the metro station. The winners of this mad rush have a choice. Walk... or stand. They quickly make their decision as the victors in this contest, and ultimately choose to stand. While they're quick to get to the escalator, they're slow in coming down the escalator. (imagine the chaos that would ensue if the escalator should suddenly stop! The whole city would be stranded on these moving monstrosities!)

Ol' Eric has a simple, yet effective solution to quickly & vastly improve Shanghai's efficiency in the metro system. When going up the escalator, should you decide to stand, think of how you could greatly improve the efficiency of our fair city by standing on the right side of the escalator only, thereby allowing others wishing to walk access to an obstacle-free path up the elevator. See exhibit B below.

Exhibit B

From Shanghai, Chi...

For going down the escalator, the same principles could apply. By standing on only one side of the escalator, you are allowing people with urgent business to continue on their way to their urgent business meetings! See Exhibit C on the proper usage of down-directional escalators.

Exhibit C

From Shanghai, Chi...

So what possible motivation do you have to follow Skyline's rule of escalator usage? Imagine if you will, you and your significant other, riding the escalator. You both won the big race to the escalator, and you choose to stand, side by side, holding hands, his hand down her back pocket, and her hand down... well you get the idea. But behind you is a diplomat from the great nation of San Serriffe. He has documented evidence in his briefcase that must get to a meeting at the German Consulate, located next door to Castle Oktober. This information could avoid a great war between Germany & San Serriffe. By standing there, you and your significant other could cause him to miss the next train to the embassy, thereby causing him to be late for a meeting, thereby causing the German officials to storm out of the meeting, insulted and angry. Next thing you know, Germany is attacking San Serriffe, England is attacking the Falklands, America is attacking bottles of Scotch & all chaos breaks loose. All because your hand was down his... you get the idea.

The moral of this story is... get the hell out of Eric's way on the escalator. Okay?

Denial of Service Attack

The Hong Kong server has been under heavy fire from hackers using a Denial of Service attack. This basically means that someone somewhere managed to flood the server with useless packets, thereby filling it & rendering the computer useless. If you want to see YOUR packets, click on "Local Area Connections" while connected, and you can see how many packets your computer picked up while on the internet.

For more, read the links below.

http://www.cert.org/tech_tips/denial_of_service.html
http://anonymouse.org/cgi-bin/anon-www.cgi/http://en.wikipedia.org/wik i/Denial-of-service_attack

What does this mean for my new company? Nothing aside from I can't access the Server Control Panel to remove the newest SPAM attacks on JinanLIVE (that's a different story). So far, we've steered clear of the DoS attack, thankfully. However, not all sites have. I know of two companies in particular who are probably seriously sweating things now.

My new server company (www.terascape.net - not yet started) is running from one of those companies in Hong Kong. However, this doesn't mean I'm not going through them for service. If anything after the latest round of DoS attacks (also hitting GoDaddy.com & a few other major companies) the attacks will probably get them in gear for future attacks.

If you're a geek, you'll know what I'm going on about. As a geek, even I know only HALF of what I'm going about. The more technology advances, the more of a pain in the arse it becomes.

Tongren Road, Wretched Hive of Scum & Villainy

Considering most people I know already know the story, including family... I decided to reprint this story for the blog. This was originally posted on Shanghai Expat, edited slightly considering the time difference. Here goes...

I'm not entirely sure how all this went down last week, but suffice it to say, I got myself a good ass whupping that night. After the quiz night, I decided to make my way closer to the Nanjing Xi Lu area, via Tongren. Yeah, I know... "Tongren Road Sucks!" my old battle cry. But even I had to find something to do before going back to Judytown.

Well, busted up hand, face & teeth later, I certainly found something to do. (How my computer survived, I've no clue!) A gang of locals were out there, sticks, chains, pipes & all, and they were beating the living shit out of a laowai (foreigner). Tongren Road cops didn't do a whole hell of a lot.

So I did. Stupid Stupid me.

I rushed the first guy with a pipe (thinking chains hurt less) and knocked him to the ground. Then... I got my ass kicked too. Did any other foreigners jump in? Nope. Locals? yep.

The other laowai got his ass out of there, and I ended up taking his place in the scuffle. Needless to say, I've a bit of a headache today.

Whoever that laowai was, if you're reading this, you owe me one, dude. No good deed goes unpunished.

Since that incident, I do remember rushing a 2nd person, but, well... 15 vs. 2 aren't very good odds to say the least. And as last night was St. Patrick's day (or St. Sneaky Pete's day if you will), all the fun people were out in force. I was out with Alex & a few of his friends, not Shanghai locals, but Chinese locals at least. And I almost saw a repeat of last week, as... this time a foreigner was fucking with one of the locals. Took his Guinness hat, pointed to it & said, "is this mine?".

Highly unlikely.

The foreigner did actually give it back, no incident required. And the whole thing took like 5 seconds. But I did realize, apparently I'm an equal-opportunity brawler.

Sorry, no pics of the newly... renovated teeth.

Love on the Shanghai Metro

Valentines day comes in all shapes & sizes for the people in Shanghai, and the locals' embracement of western holidays hasn't skipped a beat here. The image below, a man, proposing to his would-be bride on Valentines Day evening, was taken on the Shanghai Metro Line 1. An odd place to propose indeed, but I've seen stranger.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Another couple on the Shanghai Metro Line 2 showed their affection for one another to an unnoticing crowd later that evening. As a man, I do feel there are certain places where public displays of heart-shaped balloons belong, and that's in either Kingdom of Loathing or the circus.

From Shanghai, Chi...

The Spring Festival Chronicles

Ahh, the Chinese New Year! Time when all the locals go back to see their families, and all the laowais go on vacation to some far off exotic locale, like Thailand, Xi'an or the pub. This laowai, however, is married and now has a Chinese family to go see for the holidays. Grace & I arrived in Jiangdu last night, just in time for dinner & drinking with some friends of the family. In typical style, they felt the need to teach me, the foreigner, about Chinese customs. After 5 1/2 years here, apparently I don't know jack shit.

Anyways, they re-educated me about the term "Gan Bei", which is no different than saying, "Bottoms Up!". Had they been around 3 years ago, they'd have seen that I certainly know "Gan Bei" as I out-drank two of Grace's Uncles who were trying to double-team me with Baijiu (Chinese White Wine - nasty stuff) just to see me drunk. As they staggered out of their chairs & into the next room, I popped open a beer & proudly said, Gong Xi Fa Cai! (Good fortune in the new year!)

They then educated me about language. My Chinese isn't so great, but I certainly know the chinese name of China & a few select other phrases. However, as I learned the majority of my Chinese in Jinan, near Dongbei (North East), I still have serious trouble understanding Southern Jiangsu language. What always surprises me though is that when I do respond to them in Chinese, my Jinan-hua is understood. I've no clue why I can't understand them, other than the fact that they were slurring their speech a bit.

Finally, they taught me how to use chopsticks. Considering I've probably gained a good 20 pounds in the last 5 years here, an inability to use chopsticks is certainly not the case of my weight gain. As always, a spoon is offered, and I proudly say "no! I can use chopsticks just fine!" and their faces light up. They watch as I eat, and they smile, thinking I'm one smart laowai! At which point, I raise my glass of beer & say, "Gan Bei!" (in MY chinese, meaning, stop staring & DRINK something!)

Anyways, I don't see that it'll be much different than the last 3 years here, other than the fact that Grace & I are having a small wedding ceremony. Should be interesting to say the least!

Fun with the English Language

A few days ago (yeah I know the server's been down, thanks, AIT!) I was chatting with a friend on msn who came tearing onto the IM client with questions regarding her USA counterpart's email to her. She & her all-Chinese staff figured out what the rest of the email meant quite easily. It's their job & their company, so generally, English emails are no problem for them, except for this one phrase. After consulting online dictionaries & various translator sites, this friend (who probably doesn't want to be named) finally decided to consult the one person she knows to be the foremost expert on Americans, me. The American.

She popped on msn & told me this dilemma and finally asked me to help her figure out what the phrase at the end of the email meant.

The phrase: "Go Bears!"

Superbowl Party in Shanghai

Yeah yeah, I know. The Bears lost. But still, the party over at Bubba's Texas Barbecue & saloon, (2262 Hong Qiao Lu by the Hongqiao Marriott) was pretty good. The place was absolutely packed, with half the place rabidly cheering on the Bears, and the others saying something about the Colts. They offered up a good breakfast of spare ribs & soft tacos, along with beer, martinis, bloody marys & other drinks (yes, all at 7:30 in the morning!)

KJ, the proprietor of Bubba's also ordered up his own halftime show complete with dancing girls. The girls, however were a bit lacking, and at least the upstairs crowd didn't seem to pay too much attention. But then again, with all the people, they didn't exactly have the room to perform in the first place. Whatever... it was a good time, and KJ did promise that next year's party would be better (suggesting that the downstairs crowd wasn't too into it either.

And the Hits just keep on coming!

I originally found this on ShanghaiExpat.com, and after a bit of google searching, I also found it here and here. As google rankings do interest me as a web designer, I thought I would join in on the experiment. The experiment, you say? The story below consists of tons of popularly searched keywords on Google. If by posting this story, will my hits increase? Let's find out!

Oh, and for you PC people out there, there's... a little bit of improper content in this story.

Nikki Cox stared at her breasts, preparing to join Jessica Simpson and Darren Williams at the Saddam Hanging. Jessica, a staunch “Windows” defender, turned on her Dell computer with the Intel chip and went right to her MySpace page where she added new friends Orlando Bloom, Martina Hingis, Beyonce, Barry Bonds, Barack Obama, and Jessica Alba (who posed in Playboy naked and drives a Ferrari).

Angelina Jolie stopped by with Brad Pitt (who she has nicknamed “bebo”), both horny, having come from a sex orgy, which was really a charity benefit for autism and cancer. Of course Paris Hilton was there (raving about Metacafe which she discovered on Wikipedia and Radioblog.) as was Shakira who appeared just last night on American Idol where she caught Paula Abdul giving a blowjob to Chris Daugherty. It was quite a scandal but nothing like the Duke Lacrosse Rape Scandal, or the pictures of Britney Spears’ vagina.

Then Penelope Cruz put her "box in a box" then called on her RAZR V3. She had been watching 24, Project Runway, America’s Top Model, the Sopranos, Battlestar Galactica, and Dancing with the Stars and fell asleep in front of her HD plasma screen for under $2000. She couldn’t make the execution but was sending Tawny Little and Anne Hathaway instead. Apple Computer, Inc. CEO, Steve Jobs checked in from his spa. He, Justin Timberlake, and Family Guy writers were going to the UFC (ultimate fighting championship) where they would meet up with Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models, Ana Beatriz Barros, Yamila Diaz-Rahi, Molly Sims, Anne V,Bridget Hall,Daniela Pestova,Elsa Benitez, Fernanda Motta,Petra Nemcova, and Carolyn Murphy. He was also hoping some of them were lesbians so he could catch a little hot girl-on-girl action.

Before they all left they checked the Dreamgirls showtimes, Golden Globe results (where they learned the winners included Hellen Mirren, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Martin Scorsese, Ugly Betty, Clint Eastwood, Meryl Streep, and Hugh Laurie from House),traded podcasts, shopped on line for a Seahawks jersey to wear at the Superbowl (if they could get tickets and the cheapest airfare), downloaded tomcat wedding photos, lamented over the Paul McCartney divorce, discussed the latest Borat-Pamela Anderson rumors, and late arrival Madonna wondered where is Palestine? And, for that matter, where is Darfur?

They drove in separate cars. The Lamborghini, Hummer, Mercedes, and Porsche pulled out of the driveway. Wicked Ashlee Simpson was waiting in Jessica’s car sporting her New England Patriots shirt that featured Tom Brady, talking to Hilary Clinton about how to refinance. Meanwhile, Daniel Craig, already there but barefoot (he had a foot fetish), took Viagra just in case Eva Longoria or porn stars Jenna Jamison, Sophie Moon, Alaura Eden, Dragon Lily, Lauren Phoenix, Lexington Steele, Extreme Holly, and Stephanie Swift showed up for the hanging. Wentworth Miller sent his regrets, saying he’ll see it on CNN, the Colbert Report, YouTube, MSNBC with Keith Olbermann, CBS with Katie Couric (and her bare legs), the View with Rosie O’Donnell, the Food Network, or in Screw magazine.

Rain was beating down. Lil Wayne suspected Global Warning. “It’s almost as bad as Hurricane Katrina”, said Hannah Montana, who had her own bankruptcy problems. The guards were dressed like Spiderman. Fergie and Christina Aguilera swooned but Nicole Richie was preoccupied, wondering if the Deal or no Deal models were prettier than her. It was bad enough she was sitting with Heidi Klum, who kept pestering her, asking, “What is Hezbollah?”, “is Chris Brown performing?”, and “define web 2.0”. Donald Trump was giving sex tips to the Grey’s Anatomy cast and making erectile dysfunction jokes that Quentin Tarentino, Sean Hannity, Homer Simpson, Eli Manning, and Simon Cowell didn’t find funny. Ryan Seacrest and Rachel Ray were trading sex toys and Starbucks gift certificates, and Jennifer Aniston asked Tiger Woods if she should enroll in Boise State. He said yes but only if she can apply for FAFSA.

After Katharine McPhee sang some country’s national anthem where she was joined by the Dixie Chicks, Mariah Carey,the cast of "Chicago", and P. Diddy, the hanging took place, duly recorded on everyone’s latest cellphone camera under $30, and then they all checked flight schedules, the Weather Channel, found the best hotel deals, and flew to Hollywood for the latest Oscar buzz, the best pizza, celebrity graves, the top ten nightclubs, tech help, Universal tours, Grammy night, the Golden Globes, tattoos, Kobe Bryant, liposuction, Disneyland, and UCLA cheerleaders.

Here you go, Alex. There's the new post you've been asking about!

Doctor Who

After months of suggesting, pleading and saying, "Hey honey, lets watch Doctor Who!" I finally succeeded in getting my wife into watching Doctor Who. For those of you who are saying, Doctor..."who?", Doctor Who is a BBC production that's spanned almost 43 years and has had up to 10 "Doctors" now. During this time, the show's started, stopped, started again, LOST, FOUND and restarted. As with all Doctor Who seasons, eventually, we'll find ourselves with an 11th Doctor, as well as another replacement for Rose, Grace and any other former Who girls out there. Outpost Gallifrey, the #1 source on the internet for Doctor Who is already stating this.

And as Iain, an old friend from Jinan, now in Thailand once stated, "Doctor Who has THE best opening theme song of any Sci-fi show out there!" or something like that!



And for those of you in China, yes, Youtube is just as slow.

An Ascender is ME! (again)

Once again, I managed to ascend on Kingdom Of Loathing. While "Schwinglo" and I have actually started this game around the same time, he's probably on his 10th ascension while I'm only on my 2nd. That's okay though because I have a LIFE!!! (just a joke, Schwinglo) Below is a clip from my adventures before heading over to the Valhalladay Inn.

You wander the hallowed resting place of your ancestors and encounter your Grandmother. "Grandma! It's so good to see you! I missed you so much after you died..." You try to give her a hug, but she steps back. "Hrmph!" She stomps one tiny foot on the cloud you're standing on. "Missed me, did you? Did you ever once visit my grave? Did you pray to me before battle? Did you send flowers? Not once! You could have at least made something of yourself and let that be my tribute. But you couldn't even accomplish that much, could you? You're a failure and you'll always be one. Now go cut me a non-corporeal switch so I can teach you a lesson!" You quickly will yourself into another aspect of Valhalla. Next time you'll be sure to seek out slightly more ancestral ancestors.

Ahhh, a day in the life of KoL! God, why didn't I think of a game like this??!!