Eric @ SinoPenn

New Apartment!

2008-12-22T11:40:00.003+08:00

Our new apartment! Sorry for the bad scan. Will try to get a better one next time we're in Jiuting.

From Shanghai, China- Miscellaneous Pics

But here it is! This is what we just bought here in Shanghai. 132 sqm (1420 square feet), the place will be ready in another 9 months. The building, as well as a third of the apartment complex is still being built. When it's finished though, it'll be a rather beautiful place to live, both the apartment and the surrounding areas.

Yesterday, we spent the day in Jiuting again, looking at various places, our fourth trip there. We saw one place that we liked, in a building already finished, but the asking price was too high. Some people there, who bought their places before the economic meltdown, paid a much higher price, and are now suddenly desperate to sell. Sell for a loss though, it's not going to happen. We passed on those ones, and someone from Bayside Garden told us of a special deal in the apartments near the main gate.

The people at Bayside were helpful. We told them that while we have the money, they're in accounts that if we pulled them out early, we would lose the interest earned on them. They however, came back and told us that they can match the interest. After a bit more negotiating, we got the price per sqare meter down to something more manageable (an effort to secure a lower rate of interest from the amount we still have to borrow) and afterwhich, we paid the deposit and signed the papers. On Friday, we'll go back to pay the down payment and arrange for the loan.

View Larger Map

What a light show in Edmonton Canada!

2008-12-10T07:57:00.003+08:00

Caught by a police dashboard cam, the light in the background is a meteor entering the earth's atmosphere and disintegrating before landing.

Here's another view, a bit more close up.

Look for more when the clips finish

So who actually took the photos of Fomalhaut B?

2008-11-17T08:00:00.004+08:00

We now finally see who actually took the photos. Good job, Google News & Starfleet!

We finally Photographed a Planet!

2008-11-14T08:04:00.007+08:00

After all this time of talk about finding other planets, artists' renditions and all that, we finally got a clear picture of a planet! Yep, it's a dot. Well, 2 in that picture. Click it for a bigger picture.

This is only one picture of one planet out of hundreds of planets we've discovered in the last several years. Some are close and some are far. But the question is, how many planets remain undiscovered?

Here's a small look (only 32 megs) at one section of the universe and by all means, you tell me how many planets there may be.

No more Olympics!!!

2008-08-23T04:50:00.003+08:00

Wow, I should really post! Been to Yangshuo but the wife has all the pics on her compy. Went through a summer term working days for a change, company's growing and all that, saw pics of Sienna in her knickers (her fault. she blogged them!), quit smoking again, started smoking again, quit again, joined a softball league, 2nd best team in Shanghai, and that's even after taking body shots from hookers' belly buttons, sucked at Golden Tee, watched the Olympics (did I mention they're OVER in 2 days?), regained my special "insomnia" skill, permed it too, I think, and lots of other stuff. Will have to update, I suppose.

Charities & Why we do what we do

2008-05-26T02:11:00.004+08:00

Tonight wrapped up a weekend full of benefits for the Library Project. Overall, the weekend was successful. Tom, the founder of Library Project was quite happy with the overall turnout of the weekend's events, and the money that was raised was enough to build three, possibly four more libraries out in the countryside of China. Don't quote me on this though, I'm not the LP accountant by any means.

The one thing we'd talked about though that stuck in my mind the most was why people do this sort of thing. I looked at my own case first.

I run a small website hosting & development company here in Shanghai. As always, I want people to know about it and use my services. Duh! What small-business owner doesn't. In walks Tom of the Library Project.

I've known Tom for quite sometime actually, as we'd been colleagues in a company based in Dalian, China. Good company, a bit mis-managed sometimes, but overall, enthusiastic and active in the LP. He told me of his plans that eventually became the Library Project charity.

Fast-forward one year. Personally, I'd set up one event to get books for his charity, and at that time, it wasn't exactly established. Not registered in the US, not registered in the PRC either. He simply did it in his spare time. I took my website name, JinanLIVE.com and threw it at LP. We raised about 40 books for his project.

Fast-forward another 2 years... now, in Shanghai for the last three years, and again, still in contact with Tom. But now I run TeraScape. Thus starts my own case of shameless self-promotion. Our 3-sentence closing conversation ended with a simple unanswered question, why do we, why do the people who showed up & contributed, why does anyone do what they do for charity? Why do I and others involved in this weekend's events do it? I organized a big barbeque fund-raiser for LP at Kommune Kafe, here in Shanghai. Why?

Because I can PROMOTE it. I'm a prolific poster on Shanghai Expat with close to 8000 posts on that site. Everytime I post, my sig file is on there. What's my sig file?

"
_________________

~ Website Hosting in China
C:/Dos ~ C:/Dos/Run ~ Run/Dos/Run

"

Short, not very clever, but the image links to my company. I promote LP on Shanghai Expat and with every promotion, my OWN link goes on there. Overall, it's indirectly self-promotion. I also use my company login on other sites, like City Weekend, SH Magazine, Shanghaiist (new favorite website!) That's Shanghai... you name it, all promoting Library Project, but all with some small, unsymbolic link back to me and my company.

"So what the hell is your point?" you're asking yourself now. The point is, those of us involved with charities, don't always do it because we want to help charities. It's also self-serving.

"Sounds AWFUL!" you say to yourself (or you've already stopped reading). But it isn't. I couldn't do a THIRD of what I did this weekend if it weren't for my clients. I couldn't do a FIFTH of what I did if it weren't for other charities and the lessons I learned there (Warren Jaycees, Kudos!).

The point is, support your local charities, but also support the people behind the charities. If they don't have business, then they're not going to be in any position to support or be a part of any charities. When we do stuff, it's not always because we simply can. We want to because our situation allows us to do that. We actually enjoy doing this, and if your situation doesn't allow you to be active, all you have to do is support the companies whose situation does. In the overall big picture, you're also doing something for charity.

More on Library Project at http://www.library-project.com.

Sea of JAPAN

2008-05-22T12:05:00.004+08:00

One, it's the fucking Sea of Japan, not the Sea of Korea.

Two, The map was published in China. If they see fit to call it the Sea of Japan, argue with them, not me.

Three, it's a fucking map. I don't give a rat's ass. World opinion doesn't always go with China or America either. Get used to it.

Four, when the kid's got ADHD, he can't fucking help it. I'm not punishing him for something he can't control. Trust me. I know from 3 years of Ritalin enduced experience.

Ranting over.

Sichuan Earthquake

2008-05-13T08:32:00.003+08:00

By now, most people know of the news about Sichuan's Earthquake. For the sake of those back home, we were nowhere near that area, so it's all good here (I know what your China geography is like. ;) ). Shanghaiist is posting the story, with over 100 updates already. Check it out here.

Reuters also has news & pics.

Red Cross donation information is here.

Happy Int'l Workers Day!

2008-05-01T14:37:00.002+08:00

Here and in other communist/socialist states, today is May Day, also called International Workers day. According to the wikipedia:

In the United States, Labor Day is celebrated on the first Monday in September instead of on May 1. This Labor Day was a creation of the 1880s Knights of Labor and was adopted officially in 1887 in the U.S. in an attempt to disassociate labor activism from the radical left. In 1958, President Dwight D. Eisenhower proclaimed May 1 both as Loyalty Day and as Law Day. Each year, the sitting president proclaims these observances on May 1.

Because of this, I thought I'd share some photos of North Korea. A friend of mine, David Akast, from England took a trip there late last year, and took the photos shown here: http://picasaweb.google.com/davidakast/NorthKorea

As an American, I obviously can't go there, as they'd shoot me on site, though I did manage to get to the border between the DPRK & China, in the city of Dandong in the fall of 2006. Interesting seeing the North Koreans coming across the bridge between Dandong, China & Sinojiu, DPRK.

Anyways, have fun at work. The commies have today off!!!

What? Post? Oh Crap...

2008-04-28T13:04:00.002+08:00

Yep, I've temporarily abandoned yet another blog, but it's all good. I'm back with a vengeance!

What's new? Let me think... the locals are protesting LV and Carrefour. Carrefour is dealing with it while LV has come out and said the protesters boycotting LV can't afford their products anyways. They're probably right. Grace has suggested reading Han Han's blog (Google Translated) for one Chinese Netizen's reactions to all the Pro-China, anti-everyone else ferver going on. The writer, Han Han quit high school and has thus spared himself from traditional Chinese education. Judging by the comments on some of his posts, his "more educated" compatriots don't exactly understand what he's talking about. Google Translate doesn't help much, but you'll get the drift, I'm sure.

More later.

New Star Trek Movie!

2008-01-22T09:37:00.000+08:00

There's a bit of information floating around now regarding the new Star Trek movie, slated for December 25th of this year. At the official movie site, the trailer, currently showing with "Cloverleaf" is now up on the site, and will soon be available for iPhone & iTunes.

Also, a bit of "Viral Marketing" happening at http://www.ncc-1701.com. Currently it shows 3 out of 4 working cameras, showing the construction of the Enterprise.

I'm not one for Star Trek fansites or message boards, but some of the reactions I've read to the viral site suggests that some die hard trekkies are already hating the movie. "They show welding. Why don't we call it, Star Trek: The Welding Frontier" or "3 out of 4 broken cameras. Terrible." Someone seems to think they're real cameras apparently. This I don't understand. They wish death upon something they don't even have a clue about. Why?

I can see a trend on the viral Star Trek site. For the next several months, on ncc-1701.com we'll see the U.S.S. Enterprise slowly being built during the next year or so, and a final completion on or around Christmas. Perhaps during summer, they'll be working on the warp nacelles or deflector dish. Perhaps launching sections into space for more assembly. After all, it's meant to be viral marketing, right? Certainly can't have welders there for the entire year.

I'll post more as I learn it. Hopefully, Paramount accepts my app as "press" and sends me more details to release to the general public!

Here's a movie poster released about a year ago.

And here's a pic uploaded from the "Cloverleaf" trailer.

Eric Vs. Century Mart, Part 2

2008-01-18T09:39:00.000+08:00

I think I broke my blog. Anyways...

I know this was stupid of me, but I had to go in there to pick up something last night. I'm thinking 9:20pm, shouldn't be too hard. 9:23 I got my item. 9:25 I was in line.

9:47 I was finally out and on my way to KFC.

There were two groups in front of me, both doing their "STOP!" thing. Except the first group had to argue with the woman about just about everything. Apparently their last order wasn't quite enough for them to use up the two 5 RMB coupons they'd already collected, so they're arguing amongst themselves.

"Lets get tissues!"
"We already HAVE Tissues!"
"Okay, how about laundry soap? It's right there."
"We already bought laundry soap!"
"But it's just right there. Let's grab it and go!" (the sensible one)
"We don't need it!" (the guy pissing me off.)

I'm mostly guessing judging by their facial expressions, my somewhat limited Chinese & where they were pointing.

It's starting to turn into an artform on who can get closest to 200 RMB to get that coupon.

The next people up in line only had 2 air purifiers, a few boxes of wine & various other things. Not that much at all, but some pricy stuff.

Price came to 250 RMB. Too late to yell "STOP!" but the guy had a plan.

"We don't want that purifier. Put this bottle of wine on there instead."

Price is down to 205 or something like that. Finally they can pay and continue.

Next batch: 270 or so RMB. Again, remove the purifier. Add a few other things... Price closer to 200.

Pay & continue. Last batch. Two cheap purifiers. DAMNIT!!! Again, just short of 200! What on earth will THEY buy? The Suspense is KILLING ME!!!

The guy turns around & sees me and my one item and says "sorry" with his Summer Teeth grinning the whole time. I said nothing.

They got what they wanted and proceeded to pay, using the 2 coupons they'd already collected. But then he pulls out a stack of cards. Gift cards, maybe, but there looked to be about 20 in all. The cashier had to scratch something off every single one of them, manually enter the cards, individually, one at a time, a single card at a single time, scratch, enter, scratch, enter... you get the idea.

Anyways, they finally buggered off, and I got there with my single item (yes, it was actually quite necessary to get this item at this time). The girl smiles, says, "Ni Hao! :D " I hand her the item, 10 rmb, get the change and get the fuck out of there, that cheeky Summer Teeth smile still etched in my mind making me even more furious. 9:47 according to my mobile. 22 fucking minutes for that.

Congratulations, Century Mart!

2008-01-14T06:44:00.000+08:00

You've made the lines at the checkout 5 times SLOWER than what they were before! How did you do it? By offering a 5 RMB coupon for every 200 RMB spent at the cash register!

How this works: Say you're out shopping with the missus & the little ones. Fill your cart up nice & full. Now, head over to the check out area.

Unload your cart, but keep an eye out on the total price. When it goes over 200 RMB, shout, "STOP!!!" and pay & get your coupon, and let her bag everything up. Start again. Unload more groceries, yell "STOP!!!" at 200 RMB, pay & get your coupon. Wash, Rinse, Repeat ad nauseum.

Congratu-fuckin'-lations on making an already slow line even slower!

Getting behind...and Shanghai Punk/Metal

2008-01-03T16:23:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile, but I haven't forgot about my newest blog! What's been happening... Let's see... I redesigned TeraScape.net! Looks fantastic now! In my own humble opinion, anyways. I still have to mess with those top images a bit more on Photoshop, and despite I wanted to have a Linux logo in that big box, I'm not too happy with how it turned out. Other than that, the color scheme finally matches my black/red thing I wanted for a long while. Now... to change the blog to match! Meh.. later.

About a week & a half ago, Alex and I went to a punk show... the one mentioned below. No Name's gig at Yuyintang was great! They were spot-on, sporting a new member of the band & everything. The Mark Fairwhale Party, however, not so spot on. They didn't play. Either the promoters fucked up, or their managers fucked up. Regardless, someone somewhere fucked up & Ray Yao and the crew got dumped at the last minute as one of the acts for the party. As much as our and dozens of other peoples' chance of "No Name! No Name..." rang out across the stage & auditorium, it didn't matter. They couldn't play.

MiSanDao was good! As was Yaksa, a Korn-like band. I'm looking forward to seeing both these guys play again. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Yaksa updates their site too often.

All I want for Christmas is Shanghai Fox!

2007-12-20T09:42:00.000+08:00

And I'm giving it twice this week!

We're broadcasting TWICE this week! Today and Tomorrow!!! For the Christmas Season, we have a few old classics from the days of Dean Martin & Nat King Cole, as well as some Trans-Siberian Orchestra. We also have some newer stuff, such as Adam Sandler, and a few Christmas Comedy songs as well. Have a listen, and if you bookmarked the broadcast from last time, it's that time to change the bookmarks... new IP this week.

Current Links
For Winamp (and a few others)
http://124.77.227.103:8000/listen.pls

For Windows Media Player
http://124.77.227.103:8000

On Windows Media Player, you'll have to click "File" then "Open URL" and manually cut/paste the WMP link to get it to work.

For Winamp, VLC, Media Player Classic, iTunes... click the link & open in whatever player you want to try.

Leave a comment on www.chinaexcursions.com/shanghaifox if you like what you hear.
Also, check out the forums on ShanghaiExpat.com : http://www.shanghaiexpat.com/index.php?name=MDForum&file=viewtopic&t=66276&start=0
www.terascape.net/shanghaifox.htm will show you what's recently played.

No Name's back in Shanghai

2007-12-18T23:29:00.000+08:00

Friday night, No Name is playing over at Yu Yin Tang. No Name is a punk band out of Xi'an that I used to see play over at the 8 1/2 bar (not to be confused with the hooker joint, 8:30 Friend-changing bar, on Dong DaJie.) Several months ago, they played in Shanghai, and I caught them again, only to be sort of chased out by this drunk Scot who was itching to either get laid, or get into a fight, and I had no intention of getting involved.

If you've ever seen my MySpace page, you'll know I don't use it. But when I do, it's usually to correspond with Y Ray, No Name's front man. Check out No Name's MySpace page for some of their music.

You're Welcome, Siyan

2007-12-14T09:57:00.000+08:00

http://www.siyansshanghai.com/2007/12/thank-you-eric.html

Crimbo Time

2007-12-14T09:02:00.000+08:00

Not only is it Crimbo in the Kingdom of Loathing, but also in the apartment of horrors as well! December 10th was my birthday, and my ever-surprising wife, not really believing too much in the whole birthday thing and claiming that my new computer bag from 2 weeks ago was my birthday gift, surprised me on my birthday with a Christmas tree & a couple Christmas Decorations! All I ever want for my birthday & Christmas is a surprise! This is certainly a good one! Thanks, honey!

From Shanghai Xmas 07

And my wife says nothing's wrong with the camera...

From Shanghai Xmas 07

You NO buy enough junk! You buy More!

2007-12-07T12:51:00.000+08:00

More riots in the land next to the rising sun. This time it seems tourists are getting fed up with having to shop till you drop on organized tours. It's an old scam, though, as back in 2000, when we went to Mexico, we were also deposited at a couple souvenir shops here & there. I can, however, understand how they might feel.

Some Chinese tour guides make extra income through commission given to them by shop keepers who make good sales out of tourists. One guide with a group of 100 or so spend-happy tourists, can rake in an extra few thousand RMB per trip. The greedier the tour guide, most likely, the more you're going to land at a few shops & stalls here & there.

In this case, the tour guide made all the wrong moves.

They were on a day trip from Hong Kong on Tuesday, but after visiting one or two local sites and a number of shops, were told they had not spent enough by their local guides. ~Richard Spencer

That's a hell of a thing to say to your group. The tourists were told they must spend at least 421 RMB, were then dropped off on a beach, and were not allowed back on the coach. According to one of the tourists (as seen on the video), they were threatened by the tour guides that if they DIDN'T spend that much, they would be abandoned there. They rioted. Police showed up, riot police showed up, and it didn't end for the next 5 hours. Anyways... see for yourself. Courtesy of Reuters.

Why Don't We Do It in the Road

2007-12-03T13:50:00.000+08:00

The man behind "MyLaowai" and our missus's and I had a great (well I thought so, he wasn't so impressed) hotpot dinner last night. After a lively discussion last night about various topics concerning China & the locals here, as I mentioned in my last post, I figured he's a bit on the extreme side... which I've always known. Me, I have my "Bad China Days" but I don't take it too seriously. I have hope for people yet.

However, is this hope misplaced? From The Shanghaiist.

Click the link until Blogger allows Youtube again. (what the hell, guys?)

Unbelievable. I'm sure you can figure out what this guy is doing. And in front of a sign prompting for, "civilised behavior" before the Beijing 2008 Olympics.

Chinese in the US in the 19th Century

2007-11-30T10:36:00.000+08:00

"Kiwi" of Shanghai Expat fame posted this piece on the forums, and I thought I would share here. Written by Mark Twain, the story gives interesting insight into what Chinese life was like back then, some in Virginia, but mostly in California.

Chapter LIV

Roughing It - by Mark Twain

Of course there was a large Chinese population in Virginia--it is the case with every town and city on the Pacific coast. They are a harmless race when white men either let them alone or treat them no worse than dogs; in fact they are almost entirely harmless anyhow, for they seldom think of resenting the vilest insults or the cruelest injuries. They are quiet, peaceable, tractable, free from drunkenness, and they are as industrious as the day is long. A disorderly Chinaman is rare, and a lazy one does not exist. So long as a Chinaman has strength to use his hands he needs no support from anybody; white men often complain of want of work, but a Chinaman offers no such complaint; he always manages to find something to do. He is a great convenience to everybody--even to the worst class of white men, for he bears the most of their sins, suffering fines for their petty thefts, imprisonment for their robberies, and death for their murders. Any white man can swear a Chinaman's life away in the courts, but no Chinaman can testify against a white man. Ours is the "land of the free"--nobody denies that--nobody challenges it. [Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.] As I write, news comes that in broad daylight in San Francisco, some boys have stoned an inoffensive Chinaman to death, and that although a large crowd witnessed the shameful deed, no one interfered.

The story continues on ReadPrint.

Judging by the treatment of the Chinese historically in the US, according to Mark Twain, one can see some of the same treatment in China given to some expats as Americans to the Chinese in the essay. During my recent "Field Trip" it was suggested that all of "us laowais" can earn so much money here, and yet disrespect the local population. While they were lining their pockets with our "fines", they made sure we would understand that the Chinese people were proud. Are all expats like that to Chinese? No. Are all Chinese like that to expats? Of course not. While my views & opinions can get somewhat extreme (I'm not as bad as my laowai friend here is), never confuse my bitterness toward the powers that be with any bitterness toward 90% of the local population. There is still that 10% though that I'd love to toss right into the Huangpu River & watch them sink in that oily, chemically enhanced cesspool.

Field Trip to the PSB office!

2007-11-29T08:05:00.000+08:00

I made it to the PSB office yesterday. The PSB are hunting down ALL the foreigners in the Hongquan, WuZhong Road area in an effort to catch those with either illegal passports or those not carrying passports with them (as in my case). This area houses a good number of Koreans and a good number of them were also at the PSB office with us, including local business owners we know.

Our place got fined a couple thousand RMB plus about 1000 RMB each for its 3 foreign employees. This is because the organization is Chinese-owned. Other places, schools, restaurants, bars & such, got sacked with a lot more, some ranging up to 60,000 RMB including sending a few people home packing. These were foreign-owned. Their fines included up to 10,000 RMB per person, for some, deportation (with the option of returning on a new visa) and a nice long speech from the PSB declaring how they were rich, yet should abide by the local laws. Where the rich part comes in, I've no idea. I've heard so far, roughly five Koreans, one American & one Canadian got deported, within the last few days. And this has been going on for about a month now. You do the math.

The real reason, however, is because the local jurisdiction is gearing up for the Spring Festival. For every foreigner & foreign-owned business they bring in & fine, they get a bigger, better New Years Bonus. By the looks of the PSB office we were at, they're making some decent bonuses. About 20 people were waiting, and that's only for the afternoon. I can see eventually other jurisdictions following suit & jumping in to cash in on the rich foreigners. So watch yourself.

As one of my colleagues mentioned, eventually you stop asking how someone on only 4000 RMB/month can afford a BMW.

Another Stop over at the PSB

2007-11-28T07:31:00.000+08:00

A couple weeks ago, the Police raided an establishment I happen to be frequenting. That establishment, a school that caters to the Korean Expat crowd. At about 9pm, about 6 PSB officials came in & demanded to see all our passports. We didn't have them (what expat actually does carry their passport around EVERYWHERE they go?). Because of this, we had to go to the PSB office a few days later, where they basically gave us a slap on the wrist.

What went wrong:
We had to sign a piece of paper that neither they nor the school admin could tell us what it said.
They referred to a PSB Guide book written in rather vague English.

Regardless, we had to sign, or face possible deportation. My problem is that this gig is only for a little extra drinking money. I'm an IT consultant. Not a teacher. My visa says so. But they didn't say anything was wrong.

Now, however, they called said establishment again, and demanded to see our passports again. That was Monday. We got our passports back Monday evening. Yesterday, we were told that we will again go talk to the PSB. All I can think is that they somehow didn't bribe enough money to the PSB and now are looking for more.

We'll see what happens I suppose. If I get deported, I leave all my earthly possessions to my lovely wife. ;)

Meet the Beijing Olympic Mascots!

2007-11-26T13:25:00.000+08:00

Here we have the 5 mascots of the Beijing Olympics. These five beings will make your stay in Beijing during the Olympics peaceful, harmonious and ~~misinformed~~ well informed.

Beibei, in blue, is busy coordinating the Logistics of organizing the Olympics. Beibei is single-handedly cleaning up the toilets of Beijing & teaching the Beijing Taxi drivers how to correctly answer tourist questions such as, "Is that man peeing on that wall?" and "Hey, wasn't that my hotel?". Wonder if they'll remember the toilets in Qingdao?

Jingjing, armed with lotus leaves on... its head is the first-strike force against the armadas of foreign journalists who will descend upon Beijing in 2008. Should they see anything out of the "ordinary", Jingjing strikes, flying through the air, flinging lotus leaves full of mis-information and false reports, all the while transferring all below-standard toothpaste to Canada & Europe.

Huanhuan is always in touch with the PLA. Huanhuan is ready to lick any capitalist swine who dares to challenge the authority of the Beijing Olympic Mascots. That little ball on his (her?) head? Even though Huanhuan is only one-balled, it's a big ball and it's always tuned into the PLA Anti-disestablishmentary Tank & Da Shan impersonator Division. The Beijing Olympic Mascots have the biggest balls of all! Did you see protesters at the Olympics? Call on Huanhuan to "solve the problem"!

Yingying, also well known on ShanghaiExpat.com is the events coordinator. Rest assured, if you're lost in the Olympic venue, Yingying will direct you to the right place... the sales area. If you're looking for the Gymnastics venue, and you're standing right next to it, be sure that Yingying will guide you through the onslaught of cheap watches, bags & dvd's and within 2 hours, you'll arrive at your point of destination. How convenient!

Nini... well, the token Aztec. This is a secret belonging only to Nini, myself and you, my 2 SinoPenn readers. Her Quetzalcoatl Power helmet allows Nini to fly through the air, spreading the love of all Chinese to the rest of the world! Nini is also the one who rid Ireland of all snakes, hence why she's left only with feathers! After all, snakes are a foreign problem.

There you have it, folks! The Beijing Olympics Mascots! Spreading the love of all Chinese People through lead paint, defense network hacking & cardboard Baozi's to the rest of the world!

2007-10-25T14:52:00.000+08:00

The song, Lightning Crashes, as sung by Live, has always been known as the Bad Luck song by myself & Ben, my friend back home. Every time we heard this song randomly, something bad would happen. It didn't work if we specifically played it. But if it happened to come on the radio (in heavy rotation back then), the curse would strike.

For example: We were driving around town & the song played. We got back to our friend Gary's place, where I called my girlfriend. She promptly broke up with me.

Another time, I'd just finished work and had a couple drinks at Snuffy's. (Before you say it, no this was NOT drunk driving, as it was only 2.) The song played on the radio when I was there. As I left, I got in my car and headed down Pennsylvania Avenue. I got as far as the Draft House when I got rear-ended by a guy in a new Bonneville. His car, not a scratch. My car, totalled. Nice Oldsmobile Cutlass, of the 1986 vintage too!

Again, driving around, again, heading... somewhere, the song played. Ben's Cavalier broke down.

Again, the song played, then a phone call came in. Ben's girlfriend dumped him (though this happened a lot with that particular girlfriend).

This all came back to me today as I was listening to music and the song played. I have the mp3 it seems. Came with a collection I downloaded. Since this is technically "random", the curse struck.

My computer crashed out, bringing an hours worth of work with it, and now I'm plagued with intermittent computer problems. It seems the curse is still in effect and is no longer only associated with girls & cars.

Congrats, Al Gore, the former next President of the United States

2007-10-14T14:54:00.000+08:00

Dear Eric,

I am deeply honored to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. This award is even more meaningful because I have the honor of sharing it with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change--the world's pre-eminent scientific body devoted to improving our understanding of the climate crisis--a group whose members have worked tirelessly and selflessly for many years. We face a true planetary emergency. The climate crisis is not a political issue, it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity. It is also our greatest opportunity to lift global consciousness to a higher level.

My wife, Tipper, and I will donate 100 percent of the proceeds of the award to the Alliance for Climate Protection, a bipartisan non-profit organization that is devoted to changing public opinion in the U.S. and around the world about the urgency of solving the climate crisis.

Thank you,

Al Gore

First off, no, this isn't from Al Gore to me. This is from Al Gore to his mailing list which I happen to be on. I've been loosely following Al since watching An Inconvenient Truth and have learned a few things about him in the process.

First: Al Gore did not invent the Internet. "REALLY? Gen De Ma?" you say. Yes.

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.

~ Al Gore, interviewed by CNN's Wolf Blitzer on March 9th, 1999. From Snopes.com

Was the wording clumsy? Well, yes and no, but he never said, "I made the internet." What he did was to pass legislation that led to a better internet & more funding for new technologies.

The people who DID invent the Internet, Vint Cerf & Bob Kahn had this to say on September 9th, 2000:

As the two people who designed the basic architecture and the core protocols that make the Internet work, we would like to acknowledge VP Gore's contributions as a Congressman, Senator and as Vice President. No other elected official, to our knowledge, has made a greater contribution over a longer period of time. Last year the Vice President made a straightforward statement on his role. He said: "During my service in the United States Congress I took the initiative in creating the Internet." We don't think, as some people have argued, that Gore intended to claim he "invented" the Internet. Moreover, there is no question in our minds that while serving as Senator, Gore's initiatives had a significant and beneficial effect on the still-evolving Internet. The fact of the matter is that Gore was talking about and promoting the Internet long before most people were listening. We feel it is timely to offer our perspective. As far back as the 1970s Congressman Gore promoted the idea of high speed telecommunications as an engine for both economic growth and the improvement of our educational system. He was the first elected official to grasp the potential of computer communications to have a broader impact than just improving the conduct of science and scholarship. Though easily forgotten, now, at the time this was an unproven and controversial concept.

From Wikipedia (link anonymoused).

Well, there you have it.

What else has Al done noteworthy? How about helping to arrange an airlift for stranded medical patients in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, quite against FEMA's wishes?

Greg Simon, President of FasterCures wrote a lengthy piece detailing an account of how he, Gore and others worked on getting planes for stranded people at Charity Hospital. Here's a part of the story:

I called Steve and told him to delay the planes. I called Al. It was 2 a.m. in Nashville. He was planning to leave for Dallas at 4 a.m. to meet the plane. I told Tipper what was going on. She said, “Greg, you can’t delay it now. It’s too late, the doctors are flying in here to fly with Al to Dallas.” Al got on the phone and said we could not delay. I tried to scare him. What if something went wrong with a patient on the plane? What if the military did not cooperate on the ground and no patients got on the plane? He refused to budge. Col. LaFon could handle the patients and Al would trust that when they landed they would break through the resistance and succeed.

I called Mimi back and said we could not delay but we would agree not to fly to Chicago. I called Steve back to re-start the planes.

Over the next three hours (from 2a.m. to 5 a.m.) I was called by an array of Majors and Lieutenant Commanders telling me to stop. (“I don’t mean to be rude, sir, but you must not do this. You must stop this now.”) Major Webb from GPMRC (don’t ask), Grant Meade from ESF. Major Lindquist from TRANSCOM (at last!) all telling me they would not cooperate and they did not know how we had gotten permission to land. I never mentioned Gore’s name because no one ever asked me who was paying for the flights or how we had come so far.

The full article is here, and I won't spoil the ending for you, but rest assured, it's a good ending.

So does he deserve the Nobel Prize? Why not? He's worked hard to raise awareness for Global Warming, new technologies and the general welfare of the world. He absolutely should be honored for this.

More Gore you say? Well... Okay.

CNN Video on the Draft Gore Movement - CNN Article on Gore's Nobel Prize win - Gore's Comments after the Nobel Win

Shanghai F1 Booze Bus!

2007-10-13T14:57:00.000+08:00

As we chanted, "Booze Bus! Booze Bus! Booze Bus!..." The bus pulled out of Sasha's Restaurant at 8:30am sharp! Luckily I got there at about 8:26 or so. An all day beer & racing session it was, and a nightmare for some the next day I'm sure!

Anyways, here are some of the pics:

New Picasa Album (screw flickr. Yahoo doesn't care.)

Just Beer Gallery

And while we're at it... here's a LINK (damn blog won't let me embed from metacafe) from earlier this year from the Shanghai A1 (not the F1) Booze Bus. That, unfortunately is it for this year. Next spring though, the 2008 A1 Booze bus will be departing ~~whenever it does.~~ on April 13th, 2008!

Oh, and Kimi won.

Expats for Olympic Torchbearers

2007-10-10T14:59:00.000+08:00

As funny as this whole concept is, a friend of mine is running, so give Siyan your support, and throw a vote her way.

Vote for the 14% Chinese, the Rest, Swedish Chick!

If you want to see what all the hub-bub is about (and trust me, there's not that much of it really) then CLICK HERE LA.

We missed another storm

2007-10-09T15:00:00.000+08:00

Typhoon (now Tropical Depression) Krosa came through much closer than Wipha ever did, dumping tons of rain & knocking down the 50 or so scooters parked outside our apartment's main gates. Funny how the press went wild with a no-show Wipha, but hardly said a thing about this one. Fortunately, with the exception of Lewis Hamilton losing the race in a wreck, the Shanghai F1 race went off without a hitch!

Hacked iPhone users, Get Over It!

2007-10-05T15:02:00.000+08:00

Why are hacked iPhone users upset that their iphone no longer works? You had a legitimate iPhone with legitimate software. You took your software and hacked it to run a different network. Apple updated their LEGITIMATE software so their LEGITIMATE software would work better, and your phone got "Bricked". Where is the problem here? Don't blame Apple for your fancy new paperweight. Blame the hackers that tried to make a quick buck at Apple's expense.

Typhoon Wipha

2007-09-19T15:16:00.000+08:00

Again I reiterate, why are we the last to hear of this stuff?

One dead in Taiwan from Typhoon Wipha, Shanghai evacuates 200,000

Tuesday, September 18, 2007
By ELAINE KURTENBACH, AP

SHANGHAI, China -- China's commercial center of Shanghai was evacuating 200,000 people on Tuesday ahead of the expected arrival of Typhoon Wipha, potentially the most destructive storm to hit the city in a decade.

One worker was killed and another seriously injured Tuesday as the fringe of the typhoon lashed Taiwan, causing scaffolding to collapse at a highway construction site in Taipei, Taiwan's Disaster Relief Center reported.

Schools, offices and the stock market in northern Taiwan were ordered closed as a precaution and flights from Taiwan to Japan, South Korea and a few other Asian countries were canceled, officials said.

On the Chinese mainland, state-run television showed families being evacuated from their fishing boats and other vessels and rescue workers stacking sand bags to prevent flooding.

The typhoon was moving northwest across the sea north of Taiwan at about 25 kilometers per hour (16 mph) and was forecast to make landfall south of Shanghai early Wednesday morning, weather reports said.

The storm, which was whipping up waves up to 10 meters (36 feet) high, was upgraded from a tropical storm on Monday afternoon. With wind gusts of up to 300 kilometers per hour (190 mph), local meteorological officials said it could be the most destructive storm to hit the Shanghai area in years.

"The typhoon is very likely to develop into the worst one in recent years. We are still observing it. It's hard to say at this moment," said a man who answered the phone at the city's meteorological bureau. As is common with Chinese officials, the man identified himself only by his surname, Fu.

Shanghai and the coastal provinces of Zhejiang and Fujian to the south issued typhoon warnings requiring all vessels to return to shore or change course to avoid the storm, the official Xinhua News Agency said.

State-run newspapers reported that some 200,000 people living in coastal or low-lying rural areas of Shanghai were being evacuated as a precaution.

Zhejiang's flood control headquarters also ordered authorities to prepare for evacuations, patrol reservoirs and to be on the lookout for flash floods and landslides, Xinhua said. It said nearly 30,000 fishing boats in the province had taken shelter in port by late Monday and ferry service with outlying islands had been suspended.

The deadliest storm to hit the China coast in recent years was Typhoon Winnie in 1997, which killed 236 people. Typhoon Rananim, with winds of more than 160 kph (100 mph), was the strongest typhoon to hit the Chinese mainland since 1956, killing nearly 200 people.

I spent about 3 hours at the Big Bamboo today watching them Sandbag their doors over a few Carlsberg Beers. News travels slow in the PRC unless you're a celebrity or a dissident.

City issues orange alert for typhoon Wipha
By Lydia Chen 2007-9-18

THE SHANGHAI Meteorological Bureau issued an orange typhoon alert at 2:47pm today with Typhoon Wipha, the most destructive storm in a decade, less than 660 kilometers away from the city and heading our way.

The orange alert is the second highest weather warning in the face of a typhoon, following the highest level of red alert. Yellow alert is the second lowest, followed by blue alert.

Wind speed is predicted to increase to 102 kilometers an hour in urban areas of the city soon, accompanied by up to 50 millimeters of rainfall, the Shanghai Meteorological Bureau warned in the alert.

Winds along the mouth of the Yangtze River and coastal areas are expected to reach up to 117 kph, the bureau added, while winds near the Yangshan Deep Water Port will hit 134kph to 149kph, it added.

At 1pm today, Wipha was about 660 kilometers away from Shanghai.
Packing winds of up to 201 kilometers an hour at its center, it is moving northwest across the East China Sea at a speed of 20 kilometers an hour.

The storm is expected to dump up to 100 millimeters of rain on most areas of Shanghai tomorrow, driven by winds of between 75 and 103 kilometers an hour.

It is forecast to make landfall south of Shanghai late tomorrow afternoon through Hangzhou Bay after it first arrives in the central area of Zhejiang Province early tomorrow morning.

Shanghai education authorities released an urgent notice this afternoon saying that most students across the city will have one day off tomorrow due to the storm.

The city had evacuated 200,000 people at 10am today in some coastal districts and Chongming county ahead of Wipha.

Shanghai today also canceled a parade for the annual Shanghai Travel Festival in Pudong New area and all water trips bound for Zhejiang Province while Donghai Bridge may also close as soon as wind speeds reach 133 kilometer an hour during the storm.

As Reported by the Shanghai Daily.

So... I guess... we're in for a big one. All the more reason to grab the camera & get the hell out of my apartment tomorrow morning bright and early.

According to Weather Underground, we'll get the worst of it around 3pm. I've survived Hurricane Emily, which barely even touched Norfolk VA in '93. We survived, and Rocked like a Hurricane 2 years ago at Senses Wine Lounge. Now it's time for some photo evidence.

But Pray to the Lords of Kobol, PLEASE let my newest Monopoly set survive this one!

The Day Before Wipha

2007-09-19T15:07:00.000+08:00

From Shanghai, Chi...

Outside the Big Bamboo bar yesterday afternoon.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Another outside the Big Bamboo.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Around noon on the 29th floor of a building in Xujiahui.

Looks like we're getting some somewhat bad weather

2007-09-18T15:17:00.000+08:00

From Shanghai Daily

Wipha to hit Shanghai tomorrow
By Lu Feiran 2007-9-17

THIS year's 13th typhoon Wipha will exert serious influence on the city tomorrow and Wednesday, weather experts said today.

Wipha is expected to bring heavy rain with winds ranging from 50 to 88 kilometers per hour, according to the Shanghai Meteorological Bureau.

Winds near the mouth of the Yangtze River and near the Yangshan Port area will be even stronger, reaching 75 to 117 kilometers per hour.

The wind and rain will also bring down temperatures, with highs dropping to 27 to 28 degrees Celsius, according to the bureau.

I'm wondering if that's why the internet completely sucks today. After all, the only news in China is GOOD news. But if they WANT good news, then I believe it's time for yet another Typhoon Party organized by yours truly!

But... why is it that in ANY other place, people know at least 4 or 5 days in advance, and they only tell us about THIS one a day before in China?

Drugs & Buses

2007-08-23T12:28:00.000+08:00

Every day (until next week when I move out of this god-forsaken town), I have to ride a cramped, smelly, nasty bus called "74". It goes from Judytown to West Yan'an Road, though I get off at Beixinjing Subway Station.

Most of the time, it's a relatively normal ride. You get the peasants staring, the people pushing & shoving & staring, and the occasional screaming baby... staring. A couple days ago, however, I saw this at the exit of the bus.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Oh yes, that is INDEED a hypodermic needle! Don't believe me? Here's a close-up.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Why is there a needle on the bus, I ask myself. For what purpose would injecting yourself on a bumpy, crowded bus be made necessary? Was this something so drastic, or life threatening that it couldn't wait until the destination was reached? Or at least some place where one bump wouldn't have someone accidentally injecting the neighboring passenger?

And then... why just disregard the needle at the exit of the bus? Why not throw it into a proper receptacle upon exiting the bus? Oh... wait... This is China. I forgot.

The "needle end" of the syringe had already been busted off by the trampling feet of workers, shoppers, whackshack girls & the likes. Who knows where that part ended up. For safety's sake, hopefully not injected into the heel of a happy bus rider.

Subways & Beer

2007-08-23T12:25:00.000+08:00

Our friend here apparently couldn't wait to get home to the family before downing a brew. These were taken at Jing'an temple station, Line 2 in Shanghai.

From Shanghai, Chi...

He got his ticket for the metro, so off he goes. The clerk is completely unphased that he's shirtless & holding a bottle of Suntory Beer, one of Japan's best.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Streets & Chinglish

2007-08-23T12:19:00.000+08:00

We're Polite People! Hehe!

From Shanghai, Chi...

China Daily, What are you thinking?

2007-08-21T12:32:00.000+08:00

Stolen from ZonaEuropa, this image has to go down in posterity. It shows a screenshot from the China Daily website, which was also published on the Online edition of People's Daily. See the link above for all the details. I see another hanging coming soon in the Harmonious Society!

Edit: just realized the image is SLIGHTLY longer than the page. Just hit view image to see all of it. Too lazy to photoshop it.

Three Days in San Diego

2007-07-31T13:39:00.000+08:00

San Diego, California. My first real experience in California. Before this, I'd often joked that California was simply another country, and instead claimed Canada as a state instead. I was certainly wrong about that.

We cut our trip to Warren short so Grace could visit WD-40's home office. Grace & I spent 3 days in beautiful, mild weather, fine restaurants & of course, the beach. Thanks to David at WD-40, who played host during our stay, we managed to see some of the best parts of San Diego in a rather short time. These parts include Del Mar, Jakes Restaurant & an overall view of the city & its suburbs.

The beaches were fantastic, and the sunset was beautiful that first evening. We had dinner at Jake's Bar in Del Mar, during the Horse Races. The restaurant itself was packed, and while I love seafood, I had to pass this time, as I'm not that skilled at eating shelled sea creatures without making a mess.

The 2nd Evening, after Grace finished her meetings with HR & Logistics, we ventured out on our own and walked over to The Bondi. The restaurant, owned by various people in WD-40, features Australian cuisine and beer, including James Boag's Premium on tap. Nicely decorated with good music, this venue is worth the stop.

Our stay was unfortunately short, as the third day took us to San Francisco, then back to Shanghai. Apparently we just missed Comic Con as well as a small earthquake during the trip. All the more reason to go back!

For those in Shanghai, James Boag's is available from Just Beer & various bars. Enjoy! I certainly do!

Facebook & MySpace Peeps

2007-07-27T12:36:00.000+08:00

Before life on facebook, I was surrounded by pedophiles on MySpace. Now that I've moved over to facebook, I suddenly find that I really DO have friends! I mean just look!

From Shanghai, Chi...

I mean, really! Before Facebook, I didn't have ANY friends! I'd sit at home, stare at a wall for hours, then occasionally eat, sleep & various other things that I'll spare you the gory details. Now that I have Facebook, just look at all the friends that facebook tells me I have! I NEVER would've known this before!

I never understood MySpace, with all it's glittery links, chicks with webcams & every other hack on the net trying to profit off it or posting some of the worst music I've ever heard. And I doubt I'll ever understand Facebook, with it's numerous "Poke Him/Her" links and high school kids contacting ME, just because I want to the same school 18 years ago. The race for friend-count begins. Eventually, it'll become the same thing. When MySpace finally falls, where do people think all the paedophiles will turn to?

I can just see Chester the Molester scouring Facebook clicking "Poke Her" after "Poke Her" waiting for the responses he can get. On the upside though, I can also see Chris Hanson following right behind, ready to catch a predator.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Ten Days in Warren & Niagara Falls

2007-07-26T12:57:00.000+08:00

The Mrs. and I returned from a two week vacation in both my hometown of Warren, PA and her company office in San Diego. As always, it was good to get back, and as always, I gained about 10lbs. But in my defence, those chocolate ice-cream cakes are FANTASTIC!!!

We spend the first 10 days in Warren, where I showed Grace around town. Some of the pics are on her blog. We hit up the usual spots... Kinzua Dam, Washington Park, a few malls here & there, Freddies' Bar & Grill.... While it's all old hack to me, having grown up there, Warren does seem to impress those who aren't from there, and it's especially impressive when you can see a BLUE sky, as opposed to Shanghai's grey-ish sky, and stars at night, as opposed to Shanghai's off-colored moon & 2 random planets.

As usual, I got on www.hellificare.com, another hometown website, and as usual, announced that there was STILL NO sign of Yetis, Bigfoots (bigfeet?) or alien dentists in white trenchcoats ANYWHERE in the Kinzua vicinity, despite some of the more vehement posts on that site about their existance.

A trip to Erie PA brought us to the Quaker Steak & Lube restaurant. Back in College, my ex, Angela & I went there to try the Suicide wings, one step below the "Atomic Wings", the ones you have to sign a waiver for before eating. Talk about HOT!!! This time around, we went a step lower & got the "Hot" wings instead. Perhaps it's living over here too long that gave me a much better tolerance for anything spicy, according to the missus, but neither one of us thought they were even REMOTELY hot. We'll have to try the Suicides again, next time we're back.

Another day took us to Niagara Falls, where Grace got some fantastic shots of the falls. We did attempt to go over to Canada while we were there, but were quickly turned back at the Canadian Customs office. Visa office in Buffalo? Who'd have thought! It's okay though, as we figured as much. The Colt .45 was NOT in Niagara Falls, by the way.

China Blog Voting! YAY!

2007-07-26T12:54:00.000+08:00

While I'm on this posting kick today, I'll add one more quickie to the blogosphere. Head on over to Chinalyst and check out the voting for blogs. You won't find Colourwolf there, but there's a few blogs there that could use a Plus Sign clicked; namely, Yellow Wings, My Laowai & Sinocidal (who's already far ahead of the pack!)

"Why no ColourWolf?" you may ask. It's quite simple. I'd rather be playing Civilization 4.

Sid Meier! My hero!

Mac Tonight? No Thanks.

2007-07-03T13:21:00.000+08:00

Remember THIS guy?

McDonalds Ad Campaign from 1986 featuring this moon man, "Mac Tonight".

Back in 1986, "Mac Tonight" was the poster "boy" for McDonalds. This campaign lasted maybe a year or so. But here in China, he's been resurrected from the ad campaign graveyard. Last night, while Mrs. Colourwolf was working, the tv was on and a new chinese Mac Tonight commercial was played 4 times within 15 minutes.

This one is the original from '86, and the Chinese one is based on this commercial. Note to advertisers: (and this is something people in the US figured out a LONG time ago) Even if you have the catchiest ad campaign around, repeating it OVER and OVER in such a short time may actually elicit adversity toward the ad! This is the same reason I hate Nao Bai Jin & their dancing grandparents ad. That and they advertise drugs to children. In other words, I'm ALREADY sick of this fucking commercial!

Did they resurrect this in the US too? Has McDonald's run out of ideas? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

3 more days!

LiveEarth Concert, coming to Shanghai

2007-06-21T13:34:00.001+08:00

I admit. I like Al Gore, and I think he's making a tremendous effort to make people aware of the growing climate crisis. His movie, "An Inconvenient Truth" is a real eye-opener, and I highly recommend watching it.

His latest project is Live Earth, a 7-country, 24 hour concert to raise awareness of Global Warming. So who's playing at Live Earth in Shanghai? Here's the rundown:
Sarah Brightman
Eason Chan
Winnie Shin
Evonne Hsu
Huang Xiao Ming
Anthony Wong
Joey Yung
12 Girls Band

Ever heard of them? My wife hasn't. Sarah Brightman, and her overplayed Darude mix I suppose, but the rest, pretty typically Chinese (or Hong Kongese as it were.)

So how do you get tickets for Live Earth Shanghai? MSN is hosting the pages for Live Earth. On that page is a link on where to get tickets, which leads to www.ticketpro.biz. From there, click on "China" and that'll lead you to www.ticketpro.cn. And there you go! "Buy Tickets Now!"... which leads you to the page where MSN is hosting the pages for Live Earth. Circular logic at its best I must say.

The information concerning Live Earth Shanghai was pretty much non-existant up until recently, suggesting all the performers who wanted to participate were vying for the US, UK and other closer to home venues. What did we get? Sarah Brightman. Even Japan scored Linkin Park. Funny too, as Linkin Park would be a HUGE success in this country. But Shanghai is not last. There's still Turkey, where, even with only a couple weeks to go, has yet to announce a line-up.

In the US, the tickets through Ticketmaster are $362.95 for a Global Warming Survival Handbook & the best seating at the Meadowlands Arena in New York (where the New York Giants & New York Jets NFL teams play... in case you were wondering). The price here in Shangers?

RMB 1100- nearest seats to stage.
RMB 550- left & right of the stage.
RMB 220- to the left.

Scouring the Intarwebs has netted me nothing in regards to the actual layout of the concert area, so if anyone could push & shove me in the right direction, it'd be appreciated. Also, if ANYONE has actually seen this advertised anywhere in Shanghai, let me know, because I've seen it NO WHERE!

Sorry Shanghaiist. No Robin Gibb or Cui Jian.

Flopsy Isn't Alone in his Plight

2007-06-07T10:35:00.000+08:00

I work at this place that claims to be a center of learning for the youth of Shanghai (and Anhui & Xinjiang too, apparently) and in general, it's a decent place. It's not the best in Shanghai, but probably not the worst either. They generally treat people well, pay well & provide a contract before your last day of work (which is always helpful.) At least I thought that until a few weeks ago when I saw this:

Looks like a typical building. Dance classes on the top floor. Some classrooms below. Right?

But wait! What's that?

From Shanghai, Chi...

Can it be? Do my keen bloodshot eyes spy a worker of the harmonious society halfway up that monolithic cliff of urban concrete? Is there life here after all?

From Shanghai, Chi...

Yes, there! My eyes deceiveth me not! A worker of the harmonious society, and of the blue collared nature if I’m not very much mistaken! Well I'll be damned, up in the sky, fixing the school air-con, no straps, no nothing to save himself from a plummet-ty death. (The white thing around him is debatable... see below).

From Shanghai, Chi...

One Week Later...

From Shanghai, Chi...

Not the same worker, nor aircon, but someone came to the rescue! Kind of hard to see, but this time it's there in white. A harness held by another worker, possibly from the week before. Do ya think he may be a bit bitter for not getting the same courtesy a week prior?

Two Weeks Later...

From Shanghai, Chi...

Same Air-con, possibly the same worker, again with help. Workers' rights are looking up in this side of town. There may be hope yet!

I'll look for the red stains next week on the basketball courts below to see the end results.

Some of this post was gratuitiously ripped off from Sinocidal. 88|

Shanghaiist Likes Me! (I think)

2007-05-16T10:51:00.000+08:00

Seems I've been mentioned on Shanghaiist for that Tongren Road incident. The comments, while most are pretty fair, some I see have people living in this city with their proverbial rose-tinted glasses. I agree, Shanghai is a VERY safe city. This was the ONLY time I've ever been involved in an incident like this. But I'm not the only one.

From China Daily forums 2 years ago
Most recent from Shanghai Expat
Mine from Shanghai Expat

And we're the ones who actually talked about it. There are a couple more cases that I know of where the parties involved won't talk about it.

So was I fair? Was I wrong? Let's see:
(from the comments on Shanghaiist)

Are you sure the guys getting the shit beat out of them (not the ATM guy) didn't have it coming? People who end up in that situation have *usually* done something provocative.
As for me, I jumped in AFTER someone else started getting the shit beat out of him. And as I've said before, I've no clue what he did, nor a clue who he was. All I know is it looked VERY bad.

Tongren lu close to yanan lu is a hole. If you are going to pay for the drinks, you might as well go somewhere classy because drink prices are pretty standard across the city. Really I dont have a lot of pity for people who go there, and no love for the bars tolerating the bums right outside their doors.agree, hence why I frequent places like British Bulldog, Castle Oktober, Big Bamboo and... Malones American Cafe, which just happens to be on Tongren Road & my particular destination that night.

"Shanghai is still a VERY safe place - just don't go to seedy bars late and night. And if you do, just keep your wits about you."

That advice is pretty much applicable inside and outside. Any word if these guys were in the presence of local women? That seems to be rubbing local men the wrong way lately.

beware the boxer rebellion part deux

My wife is Chinese. Should I be afraid to go out with her in public? Trust me, out here in Judytown, we overhear assorted comments from the locals (it's kind of countryside here) but they've never pulled out a chain to make their views heard.

There was an incident in Xi'an where a couple people thought that not only could they steal the Chinese girl from the Laowai, but also take the Laowai girl home. They underestimated Karen's willingness to go home with a drunk Chinese, and, considering how drunk AND rude they were (they joined our table and proceeded to insult all of us while trying to buy Karen & Grace drinks) they also failed to realize that considering how big I am, that my two other friends were even bigger than me. Outside, the three of us got them into a taxi when they came out after us. One jumped into the cab after the girls were in, and tried to tell the taxi driver to go, while punching Karen in the face. That didn't go so well. Never fuck with a hardcore New Yorker. He didn't last long. Then they went after us, failing miserably. We all took a couple shots, but we didn't take a single swing at them. We didn't have to. It'd be like beating up a 10 year old.

Baro... you could not have said it any better. To give money to these "beggers" only encourages more child abuse for the unfortunate kids.

Absolutely. Couldn't agree more.

Sorry but every time I have seen it in person it's been a foreigner who starts shoving, or gets aggressive under the delusion that the little Chinese guy is going to fight them 1-on-1. This is China, no Marques of Queensbury here. My wife and I rarely go out to expat bars anymore because of all the expats who think they are hot shit in China and can grab any girls ass they want- and usually Chinese turn a blind eye to it and let them. So if the guys were really the subject of "random" violence they have my sympathy (we all know those crazy Chinese with their Happy Slapping and..oh wait...) but I've seen a LOT of fellow foreigners who left their manners back west and are just whining about someone getting beat down for behavior that would have gotten them shot back home.

Milo also wrote the same thing on "ColourWolf" on the original post here. ~~Well you know... I grab ALL SORTS of asses in China! And as a matter of fact, I AM hot shit!~~ Oh wait... shouldn't say that, huh? Whining about a beatdown will not be present on my post. Avoiding expat bars because of "hot shit" expats, again, that depends on where you go. Many guys have no problem saying if some girl is a hottie, if they're saying it to the blokes they're with. I certainly don't. But the guys I know also don't go grab-asstic on them either.

And the best one...

So this article is about the fact that some people have gone out late at night to bar areas and entirely allegedly got into *some sort of fracas* in which
maybe
maybe
maybe

this and that happened.

As if ANYONE who goes to fucking [sic] tong ren road doesn't go there BECAUSE OF THE PROSTITUTES !!!
And then it's usually more BS like "china is changeing"[sic], "expats had better watch out"
rubbish.

The moral of this story, kiddies, is this: ol' skyline will continue to live, work & play in Shanghai, with no fear of what will happen if I stray into the wrong side of town. But if something does happen to someone, don't just jump up onto your moral high-horse & say that we deserved it because we were there "Because of the Prostitutes." You're assuming, Trev. And you obviously can't read. You know what they say if you "ass u me" (except for the "me" part). Enjoy your moral high-horse. But don't fall off.

Looking for a Secretary? Look No Further!

2007-05-15T10:57:00.000+08:00

Looking for a secretary? Look no further!

I am 23 female, have good experience of dealing with foreign customers because I run trade business for the last two years,during which I export a lot of Chinese products to USA, Deutschland und Australia. I am quite familiar with the products source(factories), shipping companies and the custom clearance skills.

For some reasons I quit and now I wanna work as a trader, interpreter,. tourist guid, maybe we could cooperate to establish business in some potential area here.

Don’t call me for sexual service cause I aint booty call girl, not prostitute or money girl!!!!So pls respect me!!! No sex!!! Only business!!!

Contact me

Is the whole "Shanghai Girl/Gold digger" image going too far where someone looking for a decent job has to explicitly say, "NO SEX"?

Well... probably not. Perhaps this girl had a bad experience, but I'm pretty sure that ending isn't needed when posting your credentials online.

Every Advertisement has a Happy Ending

2007-05-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

From Shanghai, Chi...

Only in Shanghai would a mainstream newspaper post advertising for a "happy ending." For those who don't know, A massage in China with a "happy ending" means they're basically giving you a hand job. This was posted in the Shanghai Daily ads section under "Health". And Yes, I'm absolutely sending this to Jay Leno!

And if you DO call that number, tell them Skyline5k sent you!:>>

UFO's Over Shanghai

2007-05-06T11:04:00.000+08:00

From Shanghai, Chi...

THIS was spotted over the Castle Oktober bar yesterday evening! A UFO? A spacecraft from OUTER SPACE? A flying... (well, you know). Or maybe the Good Year Blimp?

2007-05-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

Sometimes people in Shanghai simply confuse me. Take these guys for instance.

From Shanghai, Chi...

For whatever reason, they found it necessary to start wrestling on the metro last night. To the right, off camera was a girl who eventually had to get up to get out of their way. As my old friend Jack Exley would say, "Un-fucking-believable."

Eric D's Shanghai Efficiency Tips: Escalators

2007-04-11T11:18:00.000+08:00

As Shanghai pushes to be farther & farther in the forefront of Chinese & Asian society, we should take a look at what we, both Chinese & expats can do to further see Shanghai into the future of Asian commerce & industry. Let's look at the Metro escalator facilities. See exhibit A below.

Exhibit A

From Shanghai, Chi...

Here we have a pic of a typical escalator (gratuitously ripped from flickr.com). Note the girl patiently waiting for her business partner at the bottom. "Where is he?" she wonders. "Surely he should be down the escalator by now! What's the hold-up?"

The hold up is simple. Upon exiting the train, commuters en masse & en volume rush to the escalator to head out of the metro station. The winners of this mad rush have a choice. Walk... or stand. They quickly make their decision as the victors in this contest, and ultimately choose to stand. While they're quick to get to the escalator, they're slow in coming down the escalator. (imagine the chaos that would ensue if the escalator should suddenly stop! The whole city would be stranded on these moving monstrosities!)

Ol' Eric has a simple, yet effective solution to quickly & vastly improve Shanghai's efficiency in the metro system. When going up the escalator, should you decide to stand, think of how you could greatly improve the efficiency of our fair city by standing on the right side of the escalator only, thereby allowing others wishing to walk access to an obstacle-free path up the elevator. See exhibit B below.

Exhibit B

From Shanghai, Chi...

For going down the escalator, the same principles could apply. By standing on only one side of the escalator, you are allowing people with urgent business to continue on their way to their urgent business meetings! See Exhibit C on the proper usage of down-directional escalators.

Exhibit C

From Shanghai, Chi...

So what possible motivation do you have to follow Skyline's rule of escalator usage? Imagine if you will, you and your significant other, riding the escalator. You both won the big race to the escalator, and you choose to stand, side by side, holding hands, his hand down her back pocket, and her hand down... well you get the idea. But behind you is a diplomat from the great nation of San Serriffe. He has documented evidence in his briefcase that must get to a meeting at the German Consulate, located next door to Castle Oktober. This information could avoid a great war between Germany & San Serriffe. By standing there, you and your significant other could cause him to miss the next train to the embassy, thereby causing him to be late for a meeting, thereby causing the German officials to storm out of the meeting, insulted and angry. Next thing you know, Germany is attacking San Serriffe, England is attacking the Falklands, America is attacking bottles of Scotch & all chaos breaks loose. All because your hand was down his... you get the idea.

The moral of this story is... get the hell out of Eric's way on the escalator. Okay?

Denial of Service Attack

2007-04-03T13:11:00.000+08:00

The Hong Kong server has been under heavy fire from hackers using a Denial of Service attack. This basically means that someone somewhere managed to flood the server with useless packets, thereby filling it & rendering the computer useless. If you want to see YOUR packets, click on "Local Area Connections" while connected, and you can see how many packets your computer picked up while on the internet.

For more, read the links below.

http://www.cert.org/tech_tips/denial_of_service.html
http://anonymouse.org/cgi-bin/anon-www.cgi/http://en.wikipedia.org/wik i/Denial-of-service_attack

What does this mean for my new company? Nothing aside from I can't access the Server Control Panel to remove the newest SPAM attacks on JinanLIVE (that's a different story). So far, we've steered clear of the DoS attack, thankfully. However, not all sites have. I know of two companies in particular who are probably seriously sweating things now.

My new server company (www.terascape.net - not yet started) is running from one of those companies in Hong Kong. However, this doesn't mean I'm not going through them for service. If anything after the latest round of DoS attacks (also hitting GoDaddy.com & a few other major companies) the attacks will probably get them in gear for future attacks.

If you're a geek, you'll know what I'm going on about. As a geek, even I know only HALF of what I'm going about. The more technology advances, the more of a pain in the arse it becomes.

Tongren Road, Wretched Hive of Scum & Villainy

2007-03-18T13:13:00.000+08:00

Considering most people I know already know the story, including family... I decided to reprint this story for the blog. This was originally posted on Shanghai Expat, edited slightly considering the time difference. Here goes...

I'm not entirely sure how all this went down last week, but suffice it to say, I got myself a good ass whupping that night. After the quiz night, I decided to make my way closer to the Nanjing Xi Lu area, via Tongren. Yeah, I know... "Tongren Road Sucks!" my old battle cry. But even I had to find something to do before going back to Judytown.

Well, busted up hand, face & teeth later, I certainly found something to do. (How my computer survived, I've no clue!) A gang of locals were out there, sticks, chains, pipes & all, and they were beating the living shit out of a laowai (foreigner). Tongren Road cops didn't do a whole hell of a lot.

So I did. Stupid Stupid me.

I rushed the first guy with a pipe (thinking chains hurt less) and knocked him to the ground. Then... I got my ass kicked too. Did any other foreigners jump in? Nope. Locals? yep.

The other laowai got his ass out of there, and I ended up taking his place in the scuffle. Needless to say, I've a bit of a headache today.

Whoever that laowai was, if you're reading this, you owe me one, dude. No good deed goes unpunished.

Since that incident, I do remember rushing a 2nd person, but, well... 15 vs. 2 aren't very good odds to say the least. And as last night was St. Patrick's day (or St. Sneaky Pete's day if you will), all the fun people were out in force. I was out with Alex & a few of his friends, not Shanghai locals, but Chinese locals at least. And I almost saw a repeat of last week, as... this time a foreigner was fucking with one of the locals. Took his Guinness hat, pointed to it & said, "is this mine?".

Highly unlikely.

The foreigner did actually give it back, no incident required. And the whole thing took like 5 seconds. But I did realize, apparently I'm an equal-opportunity brawler.

Sorry, no pics of the newly... renovated teeth.

Love on the Shanghai Metro

2007-02-16T13:15:00.000+08:00

Valentines day comes in all shapes & sizes for the people in Shanghai, and the locals' embracement of western holidays hasn't skipped a beat here. The image below, a man, proposing to his would-be bride on Valentines Day evening, was taken on the Shanghai Metro Line 1. An odd place to propose indeed, but I've seen stranger.

From Shanghai, Chi...

Another couple on the Shanghai Metro Line 2 showed their affection for one another to an unnoticing crowd later that evening. As a man, I do feel there are certain places where public displays of heart-shaped balloons belong, and that's in either Kingdom of Loathing or the circus.

From Shanghai, Chi...

The Spring Festival Chronicles

2007-02-15T13:26:00.000+08:00

Ahh, the Chinese New Year! Time when all the locals go back to see their families, and all the laowais go on vacation to some far off exotic locale, like Thailand, Xi'an or the pub. This laowai, however, is married and now has a Chinese family to go see for the holidays. Grace & I arrived in Jiangdu last night, just in time for dinner & drinking with some friends of the family. In typical style, they felt the need to teach me, the foreigner, about Chinese customs. After 5 1/2 years here, apparently I don't know jack shit.

Anyways, they re-educated me about the term "Gan Bei", which is no different than saying, "Bottoms Up!". Had they been around 3 years ago, they'd have seen that I certainly know "Gan Bei" as I out-drank two of Grace's Uncles who were trying to double-team me with Baijiu (Chinese White Wine - nasty stuff) just to see me drunk. As they staggered out of their chairs & into the next room, I popped open a beer & proudly said, Gong Xi Fa Cai! (Good fortune in the new year!)

They then educated me about language. My Chinese isn't so great, but I certainly know the chinese name of China & a few select other phrases. However, as I learned the majority of my Chinese in Jinan, near Dongbei (North East), I still have serious trouble understanding Southern Jiangsu language. What always surprises me though is that when I do respond to them in Chinese, my Jinan-hua is understood. I've no clue why I can't understand them, other than the fact that they were slurring their speech a bit.

Finally, they taught me how to use chopsticks. Considering I've probably gained a good 20 pounds in the last 5 years here, an inability to use chopsticks is certainly not the case of my weight gain. As always, a spoon is offered, and I proudly say "no! I can use chopsticks just fine!" and their faces light up. They watch as I eat, and they smile, thinking I'm one smart laowai! At which point, I raise my glass of beer & say, "Gan Bei!" (in MY chinese, meaning, stop staring & DRINK something!)

Anyways, I don't see that it'll be much different than the last 3 years here, other than the fact that Grace & I are having a small wedding ceremony. Should be interesting to say the least!

Fun with the English Language

2007-02-12T14:21:00.000+08:00

A few days ago (yeah I know the server's been down, thanks, AIT!) I was chatting with a friend on msn who came tearing onto the IM client with questions regarding her USA counterpart's email to her. She & her all-Chinese staff figured out what the rest of the email meant quite easily. It's their job & their company, so generally, English emails are no problem for them, except for this one phrase. After consulting online dictionaries & various translator sites, this friend (who probably doesn't want to be named) finally decided to consult the one person she knows to be the foremost expert on Americans, me. The American.

She popped on msn & told me this dilemma and finally asked me to help her figure out what the phrase at the end of the email meant.

The phrase: "Go Bears!"

Superbowl Party in Shanghai

2007-02-07T13:59:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah, I know. The Bears lost. But still, the party over at Bubba's Texas Barbecue & saloon, (2262 Hong Qiao Lu by the Hongqiao Marriott) was pretty good. The place was absolutely packed, with half the place rabidly cheering on the Bears, and the others saying something about the Colts. They offered up a good breakfast of spare ribs & soft tacos, along with beer, martinis, bloody marys & other drinks (yes, all at 7:30 in the morning!)

KJ, the proprietor of Bubba's also ordered up his own halftime show complete with dancing girls. The girls, however were a bit lacking, and at least the upstairs crowd didn't seem to pay too much attention. But then again, with all the people, they didn't exactly have the room to perform in the first place. Whatever... it was a good time, and KJ did promise that next year's party would be better (suggesting that the downstairs crowd wasn't too into it either.

And the Hits just keep on coming!

2007-01-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

I originally found this on ShanghaiExpat.com, and after a bit of google searching, I also found it here and here. As google rankings do interest me as a web designer, I thought I would join in on the experiment. The experiment, you say? The story below consists of tons of popularly searched keywords on Google. If by posting this story, will my hits increase? Let's find out!

Oh, and for you PC people out there, there's... a little bit of improper content in this story.

Nikki Cox stared at her breasts, preparing to join Jessica Simpson and Darren Williams at the Saddam Hanging. Jessica, a staunch “Windows” defender, turned on her Dell computer with the Intel chip and went right to her MySpace page where she added new friends Orlando Bloom, Martina Hingis, Beyonce, Barry Bonds, Barack Obama, and Jessica Alba (who posed in Playboy naked and drives a Ferrari).

Angelina Jolie stopped by with Brad Pitt (who she has nicknamed “bebo”), both horny, having come from a sex orgy, which was really a charity benefit for autism and cancer. Of course Paris Hilton was there (raving about Metacafe which she discovered on Wikipedia and Radioblog.) as was Shakira who appeared just last night on American Idol where she caught Paula Abdul giving a blowjob to Chris Daugherty. It was quite a scandal but nothing like the Duke Lacrosse Rape Scandal, or the pictures of Britney Spears’ vagina.

Then Penelope Cruz put her "box in a box" then called on her RAZR V3. She had been watching 24, Project Runway, America’s Top Model, the Sopranos, Battlestar Galactica, and Dancing with the Stars and fell asleep in front of her HD plasma screen for under $2000. She couldn’t make the execution but was sending Tawny Little and Anne Hathaway instead. Apple Computer, Inc. CEO, Steve Jobs checked in from his spa. He, Justin Timberlake, and Family Guy writers were going to the UFC (ultimate fighting championship) where they would meet up with Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models, Ana Beatriz Barros, Yamila Diaz-Rahi, Molly Sims, Anne V,Bridget Hall,Daniela Pestova,Elsa Benitez, Fernanda Motta,Petra Nemcova, and Carolyn Murphy. He was also hoping some of them were lesbians so he could catch a little hot girl-on-girl action.

Before they all left they checked the Dreamgirls showtimes, Golden Globe results (where they learned the winners included Hellen Mirren, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Martin Scorsese, Ugly Betty, Clint Eastwood, Meryl Streep, and Hugh Laurie from House),traded podcasts, shopped on line for a Seahawks jersey to wear at the Superbowl (if they could get tickets and the cheapest airfare), downloaded tomcat wedding photos, lamented over the Paul McCartney divorce, discussed the latest Borat-Pamela Anderson rumors, and late arrival Madonna wondered where is Palestine? And, for that matter, where is Darfur?

They drove in separate cars. The Lamborghini, Hummer, Mercedes, and Porsche pulled out of the driveway. Wicked Ashlee Simpson was waiting in Jessica’s car sporting her New England Patriots shirt that featured Tom Brady, talking to Hilary Clinton about how to refinance. Meanwhile, Daniel Craig, already there but barefoot (he had a foot fetish), took Viagra just in case Eva Longoria or porn stars Jenna Jamison, Sophie Moon, Alaura Eden, Dragon Lily, Lauren Phoenix, Lexington Steele, Extreme Holly, and Stephanie Swift showed up for the hanging. Wentworth Miller sent his regrets, saying he’ll see it on CNN, the Colbert Report, YouTube, MSNBC with Keith Olbermann, CBS with Katie Couric (and her bare legs), the View with Rosie O’Donnell, the Food Network, or in Screw magazine.

Rain was beating down. Lil Wayne suspected Global Warning. “It’s almost as bad as Hurricane Katrina”, said Hannah Montana, who had her own bankruptcy problems. The guards were dressed like Spiderman. Fergie and Christina Aguilera swooned but Nicole Richie was preoccupied, wondering if the Deal or no Deal models were prettier than her. It was bad enough she was sitting with Heidi Klum, who kept pestering her, asking, “What is Hezbollah?”, “is Chris Brown performing?”, and “define web 2.0”. Donald Trump was giving sex tips to the Grey’s Anatomy cast and making erectile dysfunction jokes that Quentin Tarentino, Sean Hannity, Homer Simpson, Eli Manning, and Simon Cowell didn’t find funny. Ryan Seacrest and Rachel Ray were trading sex toys and Starbucks gift certificates, and Jennifer Aniston asked Tiger Woods if she should enroll in Boise State. He said yes but only if she can apply for FAFSA.

After Katharine McPhee sang some country’s national anthem where she was joined by the Dixie Chicks, Mariah Carey,the cast of "Chicago", and P. Diddy, the hanging took place, duly recorded on everyone’s latest cellphone camera under $30, and then they all checked flight schedules, the Weather Channel, found the best hotel deals, and flew to Hollywood for the latest Oscar buzz, the best pizza, celebrity graves, the top ten nightclubs, tech help, Universal tours, Grammy night, the Golden Globes, tattoos, Kobe Bryant, liposuction, Disneyland, and UCLA cheerleaders.

Here you go, Alex. There's the new post you've been asking about!

Doctor Who

2007-01-23T14:04:00.000+08:00

After months of suggesting, pleading and saying, "Hey honey, lets watch Doctor Who!" I finally succeeded in getting my wife into watching Doctor Who. For those of you who are saying, Doctor..."who?", Doctor Who is a BBC production that's spanned almost 43 years and has had up to 10 "Doctors" now. During this time, the show's started, stopped, started again, LOST, FOUND and restarted. As with all Doctor Who seasons, eventually, we'll find ourselves with an 11th Doctor, as well as another replacement for Rose, Grace and any other former Who girls out there. Outpost Gallifrey, the #1 source on the internet for Doctor Who is already stating this.

And as Iain, an old friend from Jinan, now in Thailand once stated, "Doctor Who has THE best opening theme song of any Sci-fi show out there!" or something like that!

And for those of you in China, yes, Youtube is just as slow.

An Ascender is ME! (again)

2007-01-10T06:15:00.002+08:00

Once again, I managed to ascend on Kingdom Of Loathing. While "Schwinglo" and I have actually started this game around the same time, he's probably on his 10th ascension while I'm only on my 2nd. That's okay though because I have a LIFE!!! (just a joke, Schwinglo) Below is a clip from my adventures before heading over to the Valhalladay Inn.

You wander the hallowed resting place of your ancestors and encounter your Grandmother. "Grandma! It's so good to see you! I missed you so much after you died..." You try to give her a hug, but she steps back. "Hrmph!" She stomps one tiny foot on the cloud you're standing on. "Missed me, did you? Did you ever once visit my grave? Did you pray to me before battle? Did you send flowers? Not once! You could have at least made something of yourself and let that be my tribute. But you couldn't even accomplish that much, could you? You're a failure and you'll always be one. Now go cut me a non-corporeal switch so I can teach you a lesson!" You quickly will yourself into another aspect of Valhalla. Next time you'll be sure to seek out slightly more ancestral ancestors.

Ahhh, a day in the life of KoL! God, why didn't I think of a game like this??!!

China Internet and Communications Crash

2006-12-28T06:18:00.000+08:00

Well, there you have it. Those of us stuck inside the Great Firewall are now even more stuck, as the Taiwan strait that linked China's internet to the outside world has been severed by a massive earthquake. Shanghai Daily & CCTV (Central China Television) reported that it could be down for up to three weeks. This is NOT good for China nor it's aspirations to be a world power.

Billions of dollars have been spent by foreign companies & investors to locate to here in Shanghai and other parts of China, using it as their gateway to the west. These businesses rely on access to the outside world, whether it be their massive customer databases or communications with offices in other countries. What should happen if they're suddenly stricken with no means of internet communication? Let's just say these investors won't be too happy, and the market is bound to show.

IT people (including myself) have been scrambling for ways to get around this new blockage, but so far little to nothing has reared its head in hope. Places like anonymouse.org are out of reach. Other proxies are slow (including the one I'm using just to post this.) My own sites are now inaccessible from China for the time being, and I've suddenly dropped from 200 spam mails to about 5 per day. Though that last bit may not be so bad.

Shanghai Daily is offering this bit of hope now. Though with any news from China, consider the source. Note the quote, "China's Taiwan Island".

The article also mentions "Parallelism" being important in communications routes into China & the rest of Asia.

"People will start to say we can't let this happen again," according to Frank Dzubeck, president of Communications Networks Architects, a DC consultancy. "The issue here is parallelism, you've really got to have multiple paths. You can't lay all the cables in the same place." What I think old Frank is really trying to say is, "Duh! I told you this would happen!"

So for the time being, if you want to say "hi" until this mess is fixed, the one email that IS working but still has no guarantee that your message will get through, is ejones@astonschool.com. This server is based out of Hong Kong and has yet to be affected inside China. Everything else, most likely your emails will be received in about 3 weeks or so, if the amount of spam doesn't crash my entire server.

Welcome to China!!! Happy Everyday!!!

Christmas 2006 in Shanghai

2006-12-24T06:20:00.000+08:00

It's Crimbo in Shanghai, and as I write this, I'm stocking up on good Crimbo goodies on KoL. Christmas here is not exactly Christmas back home. It's more of a continuous Black Friday (you know, the day after Thanksgiving?) Multiply that by the entire Advent Calendar & you'll know what Shanghai Christmas is like.

Last Saturday night, Grace & I, along with Alex & Anny (newly married) and Rita (still dating "Napoleon :) ") had a nice Christmas dinner at a Japanese place on Hongmei Road, also called the Hongmei Entertainment street. While the dinner was nice, the service was relatively lacking, as there were two large tables of Koreans there as well, making large demands on the already short-staffed waitresses.

A few days earlier was the WD-40 Christmas dinner, also at a Japanese restaurant near XuJiaHui. "Japanese buffet? For Christmas? Twice?" you say? Well of COURSE! I met Grace's colleagues as well as a couple of WD-40's upper management, including Geoff and Ooi, known in the company as 001 (double-oh one). Geoff, incidentally, was the guy who accompanied Grace to Three on the Bund in downtown Shanghai for a rather exquisite dinner, the day I got back to Shanghai from Xingping (and yes, Grace, you were drunk!) That's okay though, as it was MY idea in the first place. The Company dinner went quite well, and I can tell that Grace is in good company & and with a good company as well. Perhaps someday I'll be able to say that about mine.

Last night, I put on some Christmas music that I downloaded from the net, trying desperately not to end up with all the latest pop-versions of old Bing Crosby & Dean Martin classics. I went to grab the Christmas tree, but found that somewhere between the 3 apartments we've had this tree, the stand went missing. No tree this year. But our goofy Santa Claus decoration is back up by the TV for another holiday season. I managed to mass email the family. Tacky, I know, but when I'm on the road, it's tough to get a decent internet connection. Half the e-birthday cards took about 10 minutes to load in Xingping's internet.

Later today, I'm off to the station to get a train ticket back to Xingping. I'd fly normally, but my passport is now with the company, who now says I don't work for Aston English School, nor Aston Educational Group, but Aston Business Consulting instead. Yet another new visa.

Looks like Roosevelt, the Evil Teddy Bear is done ripping the stuffing out of Rudolphus of Crimborg (Locutus of Borg?) for the day. Time to stock up on pet rocks & Toy Ray Guns!

"I am the beginning. The end. The one who is many. I am Crimborg. Resistance is futile. You will be merry."

Xingping Again

2006-12-20T06:24:00.001+08:00

As I stated before, I would get around to posting these things eventually. Dongying is up, and now it's time for Xingping. After my two week stint in Dongying was finished, I shot over to Xingping, about an hour away from Xi'an. Well, it just so happens that much like Dongying, Xingping's city is ALSO built up around a company... this one a Chemical factory. What chemicals, I don't know. The name, beats me, but I'll find out when I get back to Xingping after Christmas.

Xingping is a rather small, dusty city that has about as much to offer as a whackshack does to a Eunich. Regardless, if one wanted to make his or her mark in a certain English school there, that would be the place to do it. No competition & it's bound to grow. What IS appealing is that the food is fantastic and (I know everyone says the following only to suck up...) the people are generally friendly. Unless you work at the computer shop around the corner from Aston.

Xingping is also right near Xianyang, about 20 minutes by bus, and Xi'an, about 50 minutes & 9 RMB by bus. Between Xingping & Xianyang are the Chinese Pyramids I've always been interested in, and that I'll be scoping out up close in about 2 weeks! Most likely tombs of ancient Generals, no one has really ever excavated them, nor explored them. They're pretty much overgrown now, and some of them are even bases for farming. I hope to find out for myself by heading to that part of the countryside for some close-up pics & such. Below is one from http://earthquest.co.uk. Enjoy!

Dongying & the Shengli Oilfields

2006-12-19T06:26:00.000+08:00

About 4 weeks ago, I spent about 2 weeks in Dongying. This city is primarily built up around the Sheng Li Oil company, named after the oil fields of the same name. There, you'll find a rather industrial city, complete with large steam pipes up & down the roads. The Aston school there is on Jinan Lu, next to the Sheng Li Park. And incidentally, just about everything in this city is called Sheng Li something. This company runs the whole town.

Dongying's people are generally rich due to the oil company. You wouldn't know it by the looks of the city though. They generally come from places like Xi'an, Beijing, and other cities to come make their mark in Dongying through Sheng Li. Others tend to be born into the work. While most seem pretty content to stay, judging by the reaction of some of the kids there, they want out.

The big expat place there is a small bar called JJ's Bar. You'll find it on Hooker Street with an all-English sign saying, "Lets Get Shitfaced!" Seriously, there's more hookers on that street than there are in the entire city! Every place other than JJ's is a cheezy KTV with the red light on & girls sitting around waiting for a mark. During one evening, one of the girls decided to venture out to find her own mark, and met me. Grabbing my arm & shouting at me, she tried to pull me into one of those places. I'm still not sure if I got the stench off me yet. Pretty bad!

Regardless, the foreign crowd there is pretty happy with JJ's, as they sport cheap beer, a foosball table, and a playstation 2 complete with Dance Dance Revolution-style dance controllers. Afterwards, it's off to 0549 (or sth like that), a run of the mill dance club complete with silly little auctions & DJ's that talk way too much.

Overall, I'm looking to go back, as the foreign manager of Aston there is a big Linux freak, and I'd be interested in comparing notes!

Linux

2006-11-16T06:28:00.001+08:00

Today marks my first step toward migrating to Linux. I've tried a few times to download/burn a copy of Ubuntu but to no avail (basically because Chinese blank disks are no better than frisbees.) This weekend, Greg got me a copy and I did my install today on the D-drive of my desktop computer. First time in, and I'm completely lost! But that's the fun part... learning a whole new program, while at the same time, getting ready for the future.

"Future?" you ask. "Well..." I respond. From what this techie hears, even the microsoft programmers aren't too thrilled with Windows Vista. Several Blogs mention this (sorry no links yet) and with the usual tearing apart of Windows in general that goes on in the press, I can only imagine their days are numbered.

Here in China, that won't be the case for awhile. People here still believe that ASP is far superior to PHP. Some Chinese web designers "claim" and I stress the word "claim" that PHP simply doesn't work with Chinese. I got 7 words for them... www dot yahoo dot com dot cn. Looks pretty Chinese to me and it's based on PHP.

Regardless, it's time for a slow migration over to Linux, if only to learn. "Prometheus" my laptop & primary computer isn't switching anytime soon. However, "Epimetheus" is now sporting the latest Ubuntu, Edgy!

The Girl Next Door

2006-11-12T06:32:00.001+08:00

Well, not exactly next door but 2 floors down.

Just about 10 minutes ago, an old lady who lives down on the 3rd floor (I'm up on the 5th) came to my door & asked me to go downstairs. Now, I have a propensity for listening to my music kind of loud. And, our kitchen sink is leaking a bit. But I'm thinking that there's no way she can hear my music, and the abandoned 4th floor apartment would take the majority of the damage.

So I went down. Slowly (she's REALLY old). I'm in old shorts, non-hair cut for about a month & a half now, and reeking of cigarettes & coffee. Not the best time to be meeting chicks. That & I figured if it wasn't the first two, maybe the old lady just needed help fixing or moving something.

I was wrong on all 3 accounts. She knocked on her door, and what I assume to be her grand-daughter came to the door. She opened it, the old lady went in, and I stood outside the door, smiling, thinking "WTF" & asking in English, "Can I help you?"

She stood there smiling & the old lady went in & I assume went about her normal, "old lady" business. The girl only said "Xie Xie" ("Thank you") a few times, and that was about it. I went back upstairs, and... well, you're reading what I did next.

Foreigners in China are often seen as "spectacles" and we're stared at often. But damn, that was rather blatant. At least she was cute! No match for the Princess of Beer (or my wife!) but good enough.

No Zhong Nan Hai?

2006-11-08T07:31:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, I scoffed at my friend who pessimisticly claimed that Pudong no longer has Zhong Nan Hai Cigarettes. Me being the everlasting commanding, arrogant Kurt Russell figure says, "You're joking man! You must be absolutely crazy!"

Of COURSE there's Zhong Nan Hai cigarettes throughout Shanghai & throughout China! It's the staple of all red-blooded laowai smokers across China!.

Monday. I went to my cigarette shop and said, "Zhong Nan Hai, Liu kuai wu de." The woman behind the desk says, "I'm sorry. We only have the si kuai de.". Of course I reacted, "What? You're surely not serious!" and to my army behind me, I bellowed, "Jaffa, KREE!" and promptly slayed the infidels. Then I took my 4 kuai cigarettes home with me.

Tuesday. I went back. After having slain the infidels, I asked what strangely looked like the same lady as the day before, "Do you have Zhong Nan Hai 6 Kuai de cigarettes?" Again, she said no, and offered me the cheaper, 4 kuai version. Again, I instructed my army to this time, teach the whole neighborhood a lesson. Fire and Brimstone was the story of the afternoon. Then I took my 4 kuai cigarettes home with me.

Wednesday. For whatever reason, the cigarette shop was again rebuilt, despite my retribution, but I fore-went that shop and went to where the princess of Beer resides. I had with me, 4 lonely, empty bottles of beer, which yearned to be reunited with their bretheran. The bottles sent out psychic messages, instilling in my mind a feeling of depression and remorse. I MUST CAST THE BOTTLES INTO THE PITS OF MOUNT SUNTORY! Only then would Middle Earth (or middle fridge) be FREE!

So, I returned my emptys and asked my princess of Beer, "Do you have any Zhong Nan Hai 6 Kuai de?"

SideNote: My lovely wife, who now has a blog of her own here, has NO IDEA that I call her the princess of Beer. She's so damned cute! Don't tell her, okay?

Alas, the Princess of Beer says....

no.

"BUT," she says in her Carlton Banks 'White Man Voice', " We have a LOVELY assortment of different brands of Marlboro! Look! Some are Red, while Others are GOLD!"

I suddenly think back to last weekend. Alex. The now hitched bearer of bad fortunes. Perhaps he was right.

One last chance I thought.

I went to Senses Wine Lounge last night and stopped at MY store. The one store who never lets me down. Hesitantly, I asked, "Do you have 6 kuai de Zhong Nan Hai?" The answer.... well let's just skip the pathetic, depressing drivel I would normally put here.

Shopkeeper (as played by Mace Windu): Alas, we have no Zhong Nan Hai.
ME (as played by Tom Cruise [as always]) Depressed voice: Whatever has the world come to, where a hard working blue-collar man such as myself can't even enjoy the benefits of a simple Zhong Nan Hai after work.

the horror...

SO, Shanghai has run out of Zhong Nan Hai. Damn! Guess I'll have to switch to Marlboro.

Live Fish in Shanghai

2006-11-05T07:41:00.002+08:00

This was then. Jinan 3 years ago or so. Watch closely.

This was last wednesday. Again, watch closely.

I didn't record those, but I know the guy who did. Cheers for posting them! And don't flame us for these pics. We just wanted something to eat is all. And hells yes, they were tasty! Enjoy!

Google Adsense: The Damage has been Done

2006-11-01T07:55:00.000+08:00

With most of my online website endeavors, with the exception of JinanLIVE, who actually has paid advertisers, Google ads are what brings me the money. They're nothing to get rich on, and nothing I'm going to retire on anytime soon, but regardless, the money I make on these things is enough for my wife & I to go out for a decent dinner or have a few extra coffees at Shanghai Expat's Sunday Coffee meet.

The links Google shows, however, can be interesting. I automatically have a few travel sites blocked through the backend, simply because they're my competition. However the ones that take their place...

www. chinesekisses. com/ - go get yourself a chinese wife.

Save Your Relationship
10 Secrets To Get A Man Positively Addicted To You For Life
www. CatchHimAndKeepHim. com

Marriage Separation
Find out why so many women today are choosing separation
WomensInfidelity. com
These two appeared on Grace's blog. Probably due to her post about me being out all night. Kind of scary, really. I don't think we're separating. I mean, COME ON! I bought her a ROSE!

Next Pope is John Paul II
Impersonated. Bible Prophecy Shows He Will be Last Pope. Learn More
www.worldslastchanc
On another of my sites (guess I better rework my keywords). And as for the last pope thing, I'll bet ~~Emperor Palpatine~~ Pope Benedict may have something to say about that.

Davidicke?
How You Can Master Holographic Time To Gain Extreme Wealth And Success!
ICreateReality. com
Holographic Time? Damn, and to think I'm still using digital. Isn't David Iche the guy who says that Pindar the Lizard King who lives in a vast empire underground, impregnated Princess Diana and then had her killed?

Western White House Gifts
Memorabilia, collectibles and gifts from Pres George W Bush Crawford TX
www. WesternWhiteHouseGifts .com
Again, no politics on ANY of my sites. Not sure where these are coming from.

Anyways... The world is full of sites, and I'll leave you this from HC, the author of My Green Head...

Exciting news from "the blogosphere":

My morning routine:
1. Turn off the alarm and sleep another 20-30 minutes.
2. Roll out of bed and into the bathroom, wipe-and-shine sink and toilet.
3. Take a shower, brush my teeth, comb my hair.
4. Get dressed.
5. Organize textbooks, folders, other items in my backpack.
6. Put on shoes and coat, brush hair lightly.
7. Say goodbye to Jodi.
8. Grab keys and breakfast (milk and bun).
9. Walk to the metro station.

My nightly routine:
1. Cursorily clean up the living room and study.
2. Check and re-fill Poopy's chinchilla feed.
3. Feed the fish and check on Chris, our turtle.
4. Wash my hands, face, and brush my teeth.
5. Lay out tomorrow's clothes and organize things for next morning.
6. Go to bed with a book.

Thanks for telling me this great piece of information Mr. Blogger. The world is a better place now that we know Chris get fed, even if before you wash your hands. No, I am not bitter about "blogging", I just am an eternal seeker of originality. And blogs are just a flooding damn full of mediocrity, inundating the internet. Just because you CAN have a blog, does not mean that you SHOULD have one. If you cant be original, then dont add to the clutter.

Cheers, HC! I can only imagine what their google ads say.

Finishing up Shenyang

2006-08-27T08:58:00.000+08:00

Shenyang is about 3 hours west of Dandong. It's the capitol of Liaoning Province & probably the most polluted city I've been in. Last November, I spent 2 weeks here. The winter time is much worse. Clouds of black dust rise from the coal factories used to heat the apartment & office buildings throughout the city. Most of the pollution however comes from the industrial areas surrounding the city.

Shenyang is home to tons of manufacturing areas, as well as some international businesses. It's big enough to warrant an American Consulate office, much like the one in Shanghai. Unfortunately for this city, the international business also attracts international sized hassles from the local foreign affairs offices. To get a visa here requires lots of bribes & patting on the back of the local officials. That's not completely uncommon in China as a whole, but it's rather bleak here.

Thankfully I'm leaving this place in a few days, finally heading back to Shanghai & my wife, whom I haven't seen since about 3 days after our wedding, back on June 20th. We both know that's part of my job.

North Korea by Candlelight

2006-08-08T08:06:00.000+08:00

This is actually today's post, while the last one was supposed to have gone up 4 days ago. So I'm a little behind.. eh.

I'm still in Dandong & last night was one of China's Ghost festivals. All across the city, people were burning small yellow pieces of paper with chinese characters on it. Perhaps a local could enlighten us laowais about what's on the paper and a bit more about the tradition. Others were burning fake money. By about 11pm, the streets were filled with piles of burnt ash all around it.

Sabrina, one of the Chinese Teachers at Aston English here, went with me to the river bank. She was trying out a brand new camera, so again... I'm still hoping to get some of those pics to post here. North Korea was on the other side. Looking backward, Dandong was completely lit up. There was music playing at the park next to the river, with fountains throwing synchronized water everywhere. Old men & women were dancing with their flags, maybe about 50 or so as a crowd gathered to watch. Many people were playing badminton or playing with those feathery things that look like hackey-sack.

On the North Korean side... nothing. No music, no park, no dancing, nothing. Only one large light and about 4 smaller lights eminated from the city on the other side of the river. The bridge that extends across has the border between North Korea & China clearly marked. The Chinese part of the bridge is all lit up with multi-colored flashing lights. The North Korean end of the bridge is dark. It was a very surreal scene.

Sabrina mentioned to me about crossing the bridge. The guards on the other side can get right nasty. They don't see the Chinese as Chinese. They see any foreigners crossing as animals. When one has to cross over to North Korea, the guards try to humiliate them as best they can, trying to get them to act like animals before they can get their passport back. You're much safer crossing over at night though, as if you do have to act like an animal, no one can see anyways, because the city across the river shuts down all power at 8pm. The only light left comes from candlelights where younger North Koreans study Chinese, Russian or English, secretly & late at night.

Dandong and North Korea

2006-08-07T08:30:00.000+08:00

As my job takes me out of town quite a bit, I thought I'd share some of my experiences as I travel.

Dandong is up north in Liaoning province, right on the border of North Korea. All that's standing between me & 1/3rd the "axis of evil" is the winding Yalu River. Two bridges stretch across the border, though only one of them is actually complete. At night, you can see where the border is as only the Chinese side of the bridge is lit.

I've yet to attempt to cross the bridge, knowing all the warnings about shooting westerners on sight & such.

Dondong's local beer, also called Yalu River is okay, comparable to Suntory or most other local brews around China. There's a few expat bars in town. One right around the corner from the Aston English School is the Sunlight Bar. It's famed for having the coldest beer in Dandong, and rightfully so. Other than that, from what I've gathered so far, most foreigners here hang out at Korean bbq's & outdoor restaurants... when it doesn't rain.

It rains quite a bit here, but the weather is still mild, compared to Shanghai. Pullution levels are down, but the humidity can be a killer at times. The city itself boasts around 300,000 in the city limits, more than a million if you count the outlying areas. Right across the river is the North Korean version of Dandong, though I haven't gotten it's name yet.

On the Shores of North Korea

2006-08-06T08:54:00.000+08:00

I finally got to North Korea yesterday... sort of. I went on one of those boat trips mentioned in the article I posted above. It was just that. Chinese gawking at the North Koreans along the beach. One thing Sinuiju has that Dandong hasn't is a good sandy beach! There must've been a few hundred kids on the beach yesterday. Close to the beach is a school where they learn about their "beloved leader". Down river a bit more were a few rusted out boats, and a couple of what I imagine is their military vessels. Every so often on the shore, you could spot one of the guards, rifle in hand. Inside the city of Sinuiju itself, the women supposedly have to wear a certain kind of outfit. White & blue striped shirt with a blue skirt, probably similar to what some of the schoolkids in China wear.

The boat tour in total lasted about 15 minutes. Back on the shore, sellers were selling North Korean money. I managed to buy 115 RMB's worth for 15 RMB. It could be fake, but as Sabrina explained to me, it could be real because no one here wants North Korean money, and the North Koreans themselves have no real use for it.

I'll try to get the pics online on Monday when I get to Shenyang.

World Cup Non-reporting in China

2006-06-15T08:02:00.000+08:00

Since the beginning of the FIFA World Cup in Germany, something strange is happening in Chinese journalism. Xinhua, CCTV and other official media sent huge teams to Germany, but their news reports are uninteresting. Instead, the local or Internet media have some amazing exclusives. For example, when Brazil beat Croatia at 5am on June 14, the Sohu sports page immediately had an exclusive interview with Brazilian star Kaka.

Finally, Xinhua could not stand it anymore and published an article titled "People who are even more awesome (full of shit) than Parreira) to expose the massive fabrications made by Chinese reporters. The report pointed out that the extent to which Chinese reporters have gone must have astonished even Brazilian trainer Carlos Alberto Parreira.

For example, Franz Beckenbauer must be very busy going from one game to another, but he seems to be interviewed by mainland Chinese media every few days. He does not speak Chinese, but in the Sports Weekly exclusive interview, he can name the individual players on China's national team. Even better yet is the exclusive interview with FIFA chairman Sepp Blatter in Shanghai Youth Daily, in which he came over after the reporter called out his name in a hotel lobby.

Famous football stars such as Luis Figo of Portugal and Francesco Totti of Italy are longstanding good friends of mainland Chinese reporters according to these reports.

Apart from fabricating exclusive interviews, transplanting is another technique. The June 6 training session for the English team was opened to reporters, and the goalkeeper accidentally bounced the ball off the head of a Japanese television reporter. But Shanghai's Eastern Sports Daily changed the report to read that the ball bounced off her head and the goalkeeper was "heartbroken" and comforted her.

List of fabricated FIFA World Cup News

* Eastern Morning News/Sports Weekly -- Exclusive interview with FIFA World Cup committee chairman Franz Beckenbauer (truth: the reporter does not have a pass)
* Shanghai Youth Daily -- Exclusive interview with FIFA chairman Sepp Blatter (truth: the reporter does not have a pass)
* Beijing Daily -- Exclusive interview with Pele (truth: Pele was not interviewed)
* Hubei Daily News -- Exclusive interview with Luis Figo of Portugal (truth: this was fabricated by a reporter inside China)
* Shanghai Youth Daily -- Exclusive interview with Francesco Totti of Italy (truth: this was fabricated by a reporter inside China)
* Sohu Sports -- Exclusive interview with Kaka of Brazil (truth: this was fabricated by a reporter inside China)
* Eastern Sports Daily -- Hit by ball during English team training session (truth: the ball hit a Japanese reporter)
* Chengdu Evening News -- Victory of Germany triggered traffic accident (truth: no such thing)

I stole this from EastSouthWestNorth who translated it from Apple Daily, (link blocked in China) a Taiwan Newspaper.

Shanghai Racing Action

2006-04-16T09:02:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, a few friends & I took part in the grand opening of a "new" used car sales website for Shanghai, www.zhaocar.com. The grand opening was held at the TianMa Racetrack in Shanghai, where we were able to race a few rally cars in a contest to win a mobile phone.

From Shanghai Zhaocar Races

The Yellow Beastie is one of the V8 Supercars we drove. Greg got a high of 1min35sec on the track during practice, while Bill ended up with a 1min40sec high practice time.

Then this happened:

From Shanghai Zhaocar Races

What little time we had was cut into by a slight fire. Fortunately, no one got hurt, but unfortunately, that seriously hampered my practice time.

Final results:

Winner: 1.26
Greg got 2nd (technically 3rd but the owner of zhaocar, Jerome Vaughan's track time didn't count since it was HIS contest)
Greg: 1.31
Me: 1.42 (yes, absolutely abysmal, I know.)

It was well worth the trip despite my poor performance, and to this day, Greg won't let me live down all the sledging.

Shanghai Zhaocar Races

Mike Tyson in Shanghai

2006-03-19T08:59:00.000+08:00

That's right! According to Snatch Night Club & The Shanghaiist, Iron Mike Tyson is on his way to Shanghai to rape & pillage his way through the local Shanghai population. Why should Shanghai fear his coming? Have you ever heard the man talk?

Mike Tyson to his fellow Prison inmates: "I'm on the Zoloft to keep me from killing y'all."

On his bankrupcy: "I've got nowhere to live. I've been crashing with friends, literally sleeping in shelters. Unsavoury characters are giving me money and I'm taking it. I need it. The drug dealers, they sympathise with me. They see me as some sort of pathetic character... I know I was a tough, bad-ass talking fighter, but I ain't no mob figure. I did my time for the rape. I paid my money to Las Vegas. I paid my dues. I ain't the same person I was when I bit that guy's ear off."

On Madison Square Garden: "I could sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

In a Press Conference: "I may like to fornicate more than other people -- it's just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid? I mean, I been robbed of my most of my money, can I at least get head without the people wanting to harass me and wanting to throw me in jail?"

There's also a contest that says if you can guess why Tyson has a tattoo of Mao on him, you can win a photo op with him. He's going to choose the winning entry ALL BY HIMSELF!!! Such a clever boy!

Stay tuned to find out what other witty remarks this genius poet comes up with (all by himself!) in Shanghai & read more quotes over at Rotten.com.

Work work work work...

2006-03-14T09:43:00.000+08:00

Once again, the geniuses behind the company web presence is scrambling & I come in to save the day. Only one problem... I don't know jack shit about Windows Servers, and thanks to the wonderful world of Spam filters, Technical Help email just isn't going through to their inboxes. I have my share of spam filters too, and I rely on them heavily. But this nuisance is getting worse.

Mat, over at [u]Senses Wine Lounge[/u] has an email list for his wine mail of over 7,000 email addresses. When we first started work on it, we tested his newsletter with my own email address, and the first 5 times it popped up as spam. How did we fix this, you may ask? (And Technical Help over at our new server should read this too!!!)

Step one: Never ever use LARGE FONTS & ALL CAPS!!! This is a big NO NO! If you have to reduce yourself to tricks like this, then your newsletter is probably crap anyways.

Step two: If you can avoid it, use text. Don't use HTML. With the Warren Newsletter, if I did all text, it'd look like crap, so sometimes you can't avoid it.

Step three: Choose a subject carefully. Don't say "urgent assistance needed" because you look like a Nigerian email scammer (which by the way probably aren't Nigerian, but could be your shady next door neighbor). Don't use someone's email address or email address name as well in the subject. That'll get it flagged as well. Avoid words like confidential, business opportunity, assistance, reply, response and similar often spammed words. For a good list, check your bulk/spam box & in four words, Don't Look Like THEM!"

Step Four: Don't send attachments in the following types: ade adp app asd asf asx bas bat chm cmd com cpl crt dll exe fxp hlp hta hto inf ini ins isp jse lib lnk mdb mde msc msi msp mst ocx pcd pif prg rar reg scr sct sh shb shs sys url vb vbe vbs vcs vxd wmd wms wmz wsc wsf wsh

These are VIRUSES! Oh, and don't open them either.

Step Five: Moderate your spam boxes once in awhile. If you see something that's in your spam box that shouldn't, add them to your contact list. That'll make sure it gets through the next time.

It worked for Mat & I. It should work for you too.

Academy Awards 2006

2006-03-04T09:40:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or have the Oscars gone phallic this year?

Baoji is finally OVER!

2006-02-28T09:35:00.001+08:00

I've been in Baoji for the last month, doing things like promotion classes, flyering, scheduling, unscheduling, rescheduling & signing up tons of new students for the new term. This is the gist of my job.

I'm basically the harbinger of doom, the enforcer & the company hitman if need be.

If I come to a school, it basically means something got seriously fucked up. Not everytime, but most of the time. Case in point, Baoji. The former manager managed to single-handedly fire just about the entire english speaking staff. The two that were either too nervous to say anything, or just didn't speak English, survived the mass cuts. That same manager has since then been demoted back to Teacher, and eventually fired from that role as well. Hence I enter the scene.

My job this time had me assume the role of manager, get the staff back, get the students back & rebuild the school's reputation with both current students & their parents as well as new students & parents. The Chinese manager, Erin Lv (sounds like Lu) when I first got here, was back in her hometown getting things ready for her marriage. The rest of the staff was basically back with the firing of the former manager, so that was easy. The hard part came with trying to convince them that not all foreign managers are ready to can the Chinese at the drop of a qipao. Fortunately the staff here are excellent, hard workers who honestly want the school to succeed, and Erin's a smart person who knows what it takes to get this place whipped back into shape. That made convincing the parents & students all the more easier.

We hit every local school with thousands of flyers, organized promotion classes to get the people in the door, collected some old debts from other schools & basically pulled people off the streets and threw them right through the 2nd floor window to get them into the promo class.

The hard work is starting to pay off. Numbers are up, the promo classes are filling, and best of all, the new foreign manager is here now, and THAT means I can finally get back to Grace & Shanghai once again.

By the way, THIS is a qipao. Imagine your girl wearing (or dropping) this!

Censorship Part Two

2006-02-01T10:09:00.000+08:00

Just an addendum to a previous story I posted awhile back on China Censorship. The new Google China supposedly has some chilling differences in its display of searches for the Chinese market. From the weblog of Tim Self (Self-Centered in 中国):

Google.CN

Everyone else's Google

Some of this is actually blocked here in china. If you can't get to the sites, try www.anonymouse.org.

More on Kathy Rapp and the Gay Marriage thing

2006-02-01T10:05:00.000+08:00

My recent news article on www.warrenpa.us regarding Rep. Kathy Rapp may have sounded a bit harsh to Rep. Kathy Rapp. I fully support what I wrote, though perhaps it was more for here & not the front page of Warren's biggest website (so I like to think anyways...)

As a disclaimer, I'm hardly against Rapp. For the most part, she does good for Warren, and I'd like to think she has Warren's best intentions in mind. But to further what I wrote in that article, I do believe legislation such as what she's proposing slowly rips our sort of democracy apart, piece by piece. The more rights we take away from people we may see as different, the more rights will be taken away from us by people who think we're different.

If it was your own son or daughter, would you sign any legislation to limit their rights as individuals? Or how about one of your co-workers who may not be telling you the whole story about themselves? Perhaps it's the couple gentlemen or ladies sitting at the next table over at Perkins having a nice chat about the Google Censorship issue in China. Who's rights are you willing to take away merely by signing a petition?

Perhaps a friendly reminder to those who think American Democracy is the best thing after sliced bread, the Greeks are famed for coming up with the concept of democracy. For the most part, if the Ancient Greek society were here today, we'd probably label them a country full of gay pedophiles.

The Steelers are Going to the Superbowl!

2006-01-23T09:57:00.001+08:00

... and we have to watch it at 5:30 in the morning, MONDAY MORNING! One of the drawbacks of living on the other side of the world is the timezone difference. While everyone else back in Warren is sleeping, I'm working (or playing computer games when the boss isn't looking). When I'm calling NFG#2 Federal Credit Union about my balance, it's at midnight. When I ring up WCCBI (even though I've never ring up WCCBI, it just sounds cool to say that) it's at 11 at night, sometimes from a bar. And when mom rings me up in the morning, I'm generally out somewhere else (probably at the bar.) The time difference for Shanghai is either 11 or 12 hours ahead of Warren, depending on Daylight Savings, which isn't used here.

On the upside, it'll give a whole bunch of us a reason to head over to the Big Bamboo bar for the big Steelers game! Granted I'm a Bears (& sometimes Vikings) fan, but if the Steelers are going to Detroit, then I'm going to the Big Bamboo at 5:30am for some bloody mary's and the game!

Go STEELERS!!!

Damn Pandas!

2006-01-18T09:53:00.000+08:00

This isn't my writing, but I thought it was funny enough to reproduce here. For the original, see www.MyRick.ca. Cheers, Edgewood for sharing this one.

The only serious problem is the fucking pandas.

People in the West think pandas are these huge cute Chinese bears. Westerners are wrong. They don’t know the horrible truth about pandas. Firstly, they are not even bears. They are huge freakin’ raccoons! This a reasonably well-known fact.

What’s not well known outside of China is that pandas also act like raccoons. Most people think raccoons are cute, but anyone who lives in a raccoon-infected part of North America will testify that raccoons are vermin.

I stayed with my sister once while she was living in Ottawa. There was a raccoon problem in her neighborhood. Raccoons would regularly wake her in the middle of the night. They would jump along rooftops tearing off shingles as they did. They would rummage through the garbage bins at all hours.

Suburban Ottawa is noisier than a war zone. It also reeks of government bureaucrats. Never, ever, go there!

Raccoons are also vicious. The sharp-clawed and huge-fanged beasts are usually rabid. Rabies is incredibly common among raccoons – it’s epizootic! Few people have survived an alleyway encounter with one of these hell-spawned scavengers without a few scars or stitches to show for it. Pandas are essentially the same, but 10 times bigger.

To my horror, I woke Tuesday night to the sound of a panda rummaging through the dumpster. If I were in the States this wouldn’t have been a problem: firstly, there are no pandas; second, I’d own a gun. China, however, has both pandas and gun control. Each on their own is bad: together they are often deadly.

Lacking proper arms, I quickly boiled a pot of water, went outside and threw it at the beast - pot and all. As the scalding water penetrated its fur, it shrieked its horrible giant-raccoon scream. The neighbors awoke.

Suddenly, I was greeted by the clanging of pots and pans, drums and fireworks. The entire neighborhood, all of whom were still strangers to me, came out to chase away that damn panda. Although it was just my immediate neighbors, the din was far louder than anything I had ever heard at a Chinese New Year celebration in either Singapore or Hong Kong.

Sensing danger, the panda fled down HuaiHai road toward the high street area.

While people in Beijing would deride the Shanghainese as being self interested, money-grubbing souls without a sense of poetry, what I saw on that Tuesday night should put paid to that notion. Never in my travels of the Middle East and Asia have I ever seen such a spontaneous outbreak of community spirit.

Thankfully things ended without violence. The AP picture on the right shows residents of a Chengdu neighborhood forcibly trying to evict a street panda. The men on the far right and far left were mauled shortly after the shot was taken. Only one survived and he lost his right ear and half his jaw.

The pandas were once peaceful beasts, living in and feeding off of the dense bamboo forests. But that was many decades ago. Maoist industrial policies, collective farming and state-run enterprises denuded much of the pandas’ natural habitat. The new regime of capitalism socialism with Chinese characteristics hasn’t yet helped much.

PandametroWith an absence of bamboo in the countryside, pandas have increasingly invaded urban areas. Some, like the cheerful bear giant raccoon on the left, have had some success at blending in. Most of his genetic brethren are simply a menace.

Bamboo is now more plentiful in the cities than it is in the countryside. It is used for decorative purposes, in cooking and as scaffolding on construction sites. China’s high number of construction site fatalities is, in fact, largely panda related. The beasts eat the scaffolding at night. They prefer to eat only the shoots and leaves, but hungry urban pandas can’t afford to be as picky. This kills hundreds of migrant construction workers every year.

China has suppressed most of the information on the panda plague and it's low-key measures to stomp it out. Mercantlism is still the ruling principle among the cadres. After witnessing the way that animal-rights activists were able to damage the economies of seal-hunting Newfoundland, wolf-culling Alaska and Kangaroo-culling Oz, they didn’t want to risk the adverse publicity.

It was especially worrying for the authorities since the animal has been adopted as a mascot by the World Wildlife Fund (an NGO so powerful it was even able to take on the World Wrestling Federation Entertainment). I fear my blog may be shut down for breaking the silence.

This may be the only post you ever see on the panda plague.

I hate pandas. They’re worse than the fucking koalas.

What would Jack Bauer do?

2006-01-18T09:47:00.000+08:00

A few of us here in Shanghai are on this online game called Star Kingdoms. It's a silly game, populated mostly by 16 year olds and a few of us "old gits" in our 30's and such with nothing better to do with our spare time. As a joke I "attacked" the kingdom run by a friend of mine here in Shanghai, who I'll just call "Commando" for short.

I sent a total of one trooper just to get Commando's attention & he came back & conquered about half my land. Anyways, you can see the jist of our discussion about that HERE. Now to plan a new retaliation strategy... mwahahahaa! If anyone actually reads this & signs up to the game, send me a message in the Warren PA forums & we can plan our revenge against Commando & his unwitting forces. We'll get all Jack Bauer on him!

Thinking of Home

2006-01-16T10:35:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here in front of my spiffy new Dell Laptop conducting business as usual when a thought occured to me. Despite living in China for the last 4 years, Indirectly, I still surround myself with things from home. On my wall is a map of Warren I got from Jim Decker's WCCBI office last time I was home. My cigarette is certainly NOT from Warren, but my coffee mug, a Guinness Beer mug given to me by my cousins, Jaime & Jimmy, is filled with my usual somewhat strong 3rd cup of instant. Even the spoon is from my mother's silverware drawer. Sorry, mom, I'll bring it back next time I come home if you want.

My wallet still contains my Moose Lodge #109 membership card & my American Legion post 135 card (which reminds me, I really should find out about renewing these memberships. And behind me the wall displays an old Warren Jaycees Fourth of July Celebration poster from 2003.

I've been running WarrenJaycees.com for about 7 years now, and I started WarrenPA.us about 2 years ago, initially to keep updated with what's going on back home. I never planned on making it a commercial venture, but with the addition of JamestownNY.us & EdinboroPA.us, it's starting to turn into one. WarrenPA.us used to be a sub-section of WarrenJaycees.com until I bought the Terascape.net domain name (To this day, I still thank the Jaycees for letting me run amok on their servers for 5 years). I couldn't hope to compete with WarrenNet (which is either gone or blocked here in China) & to this day I still don't. Debra Westfall still has the most complete index of everything in Warren online, and for that I salute her. Terascape.net/warren was born & from there, WarrenPA.us. It was a rocky start, but eventually it grew to what it is today. I joined WCCBI, got caught up with my Moose & Legion memberships & still scream for collaboration with businesses back home with little to no results. That's Warren Online for ya.

All that came from me wanting to stay caught up with Warren news & information. Funny thing about Warren, people leave, but they still come back, even if it's just through the internet.

Censorship Part One

2006-01-15T10:18:00.000+08:00

Everyone over here has to make some mention of censorship while living overseas in China. Currently blocked sites of prominence (or at least interest) in China:

Wikipedia.org - Probably the best online encyclopedia out there.
Blogger, blogspot (some of them), Random Chinese blogs...
Yahoo Mail
Metanoiac!
All of Geocities & most "free hosting" websites.
& According to Matt from Metanoiac, George Washington University.
The BBC

What the government here fears the most is information. Simple as that. The internet has taken China by storm and has suddenly given people a much safer outlet to vent their frustrations.

At one time, the mere mention of anything wrong about Mao or the government landed one in the stockades, or worse, strung up and hung. Mao's "Red Guards" walked the streets looking for any signs of dissidents. Their mandate: "Now our goal is to smash those capitalist roaders in power, to criticize the reactionary bourgeois "authorities" in science, to criticize the ideology of the bourgeoisie and all other exploiting classes, to transform education, to transform the literature and art, to transform all areas of the superstructure not matching the economic base of socialism, and to promote the strengthening and development of the socialist system" according to the bill, "Decisions on the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution".

Today, that sort of paranoia isn't so present in everyday life. Instead, the gov't has learned to "use" the internet for their own purposes. Most people back home don't know of the extreme hatred the Chinese have of the Japanese. Periodically, when things domestically become a bit tattered & the populace feels angry, the gov't will throw out a little anti-japanese sentiment, and when the riots start, they're focused on the Japanese, thereby continually feeding the "nationalistic" sentiment of the people.

As of now, in order to access the above websites, one must go through a proxy connection, which eventually dies. And the Chinese government is getting better & better at blocking these anonymous connections. One of these sites is www.anonymouse.org and another list you can copy/paste from is proxy4free.com/. Some are good for an hour or so, while others may last you a day. If you're into the whole anonymous websurfing thing, try these. From over here, it's our gateway back to the west in some cases.

New Networking Events and Such

2006-01-12T10:31:00.000+08:00

Last night over at Senses, I met with someone who will soon be leaving one networking company and starting his own company. I won't be mentioning any names on here, but lets just say with his experience it should go over quite well. I'll be setting up his site, most likely and with that, hopefully expand my own range of contacts. In order to get ANYTHING done in this city, you HAVE to have contacts & networking is one of those ways to get things done.

Last time I was back in Warren, I went to the WCCBI networking social over at the bank. It was quite different than what one would find in Shanghai. In both cases, there were lots of people & lots of drinks. But in Warren, I didn't receive a single business card, nor did I give any out. In Warren, everyone already knows everyone else, so no business cards were needed. But in Shanghai, if you don't have a business card, then you don't have business. At least not through networking.

Blonde Jokes

2006-01-11T10:27:00.000+08:00

While I'm not too partial to blonde jokes, this one is probably one of the better ones.

Enjoy.

Censorship Part Three

2005-06-15T10:13:00.000+08:00

As already mentioned on the WarrenPA.us forums, China is The most PARANOID place on Earth. I use Google News to see what's up in Warren besides the Times Observer Online & of course WarrenPA.us. However, the CCP has begun blocking even more websites in an effort to control their already diluted population. Google News won't even work half the time, as if Warren Pennsylvania has some huge conspiracy against China or something. Wikipedia is blocked here. Most blog services like Blogger & Blogspot are blocked. Even BBC is blocked! Oy, these people are too paranoid.

Eventually this will all catch up to them though as the internet grows in China. The internet is to the point where it's just too huge to control, and even the Chinese Government can't filter everything.