Mike Tyson in Shanghai

That's right! According to Snatch Night Club & The Shanghaiist, Iron Mike Tyson is on his way to Shanghai to rape & pillage his way through the local Shanghai population. Why should Shanghai fear his coming? Have you ever heard the man talk?

Mike Tyson to his fellow Prison inmates: "I'm on the Zoloft to keep me from killing y'all."

On his bankrupcy: "I've got nowhere to live. I've been crashing with friends, literally sleeping in shelters. Unsavoury characters are giving me money and I'm taking it. I need it. The drug dealers, they sympathise with me. They see me as some sort of pathetic character... I know I was a tough, bad-ass talking fighter, but I ain't no mob figure. I did my time for the rape. I paid my money to Las Vegas. I paid my dues. I ain't the same person I was when I bit that guy's ear off."

On Madison Square Garden: "I could sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

In a Press Conference: "I may like to fornicate more than other people -- it's just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid? I mean, I been robbed of my most of my money, can I at least get head without the people wanting to harass me and wanting to throw me in jail?"

There's also a contest that says if you can guess why Tyson has a tattoo of Mao on him, you can win a photo op with him. He's going to choose the winning entry ALL BY HIMSELF!!! Such a clever boy!

Stay tuned to find out what other witty remarks this genius poet comes up with (all by himself!) in Shanghai & read more quotes over at Rotten.com.

Work work work work...

Once again, the geniuses behind the company web presence is scrambling & I come in to save the day. Only one problem... I don't know jack shit about Windows Servers, and thanks to the wonderful world of Spam filters, Technical Help email just isn't going through to their inboxes. I have my share of spam filters too, and I rely on them heavily. But this nuisance is getting worse.

Mat, over at [u]Senses Wine Lounge[/u] has an email list for his wine mail of over 7,000 email addresses. When we first started work on it, we tested his newsletter with my own email address, and the first 5 times it popped up as spam. How did we fix this, you may ask? (And Technical Help over at our new server should read this too!!!)

Step one: Never ever use LARGE FONTS & ALL CAPS!!! This is a big NO NO! If you have to reduce yourself to tricks like this, then your newsletter is probably crap anyways.

Step two: If you can avoid it, use text. Don't use HTML. With the Warren Newsletter, if I did all text, it'd look like crap, so sometimes you can't avoid it.

Step three: Choose a subject carefully. Don't say "urgent assistance needed" because you look like a Nigerian email scammer (which by the way probably aren't Nigerian, but could be your shady next door neighbor). Don't use someone's email address or email address name as well in the subject. That'll get it flagged as well. Avoid words like confidential, business opportunity, assistance, reply, response and similar often spammed words. For a good list, check your bulk/spam box & in four words, Don't Look Like THEM!"

Step Four: Don't send attachments in the following types: ade adp app asd asf asx bas bat chm cmd com cpl crt dll exe fxp hlp hta hto inf ini ins isp jse lib lnk mdb mde msc msi msp mst ocx pcd pif prg rar reg scr sct sh shb shs sys url vb vbe vbs vcs vxd wmd wms wmz wsc wsf wsh

These are VIRUSES! Oh, and don't open them either.

Step Five: Moderate your spam boxes once in awhile. If you see something that's in your spam box that shouldn't, add them to your contact list. That'll make sure it gets through the next time.

It worked for Mat & I. It should work for you too.

Academy Awards 2006

Is it just me or have the Oscars gone phallic this year?